January 6, 2008.
I really wish I had time to keep up with all this.
I can't believe it's 2008 already. The change is so sudden, yet if feels like the past year dragged on.
And, the more I sit here the more I sit here, the more I realize that my youth is slipping. I'm not the same person I was when I first met Gina, when I left Wilson, When I began High School. Certainly, aspects of me are the same and forever will be, and by now I've gotten a firm grasp on the person that I am. But how well defined is my future? That is something entirely different, that I'm still attempting to unfold.
When I look back on these entries, I see the naive little girl that I was. I can ascertain that the majority of them are very embarrasing, but I refuse to be rid of them because that is who I was. Those were moments in my life, they are things I cannot change no matter how badly I want to run from them. And I can easily determine the influences that were around me at the time, which makes them important milestones in my childhood. See, I grew up with a strange sense of the world. I was raised in a challenged household, and it helped me develop a heightened sense of reality. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, because there are most definately people out there who are more intellegent than I. I just saw things in a way only I could. It was difficult to explain then, and it still is. It's just a very sad thing, change is, and this is a large factor in the reason I don't like it.
I miss everything.
I miss walking around Danvers with Kayla, prancing around as we handed out handmade flyers asking people to help animals. I miss having a cheerleading squad at camp, and getting pissed at Brianna for stealing our ideas so we decided to be better. I miss filming the TPC video, and all the moments in it. I miss Gina's old house, and buying cameras that need to be developed everytime we visited eachother and how excited we were to get them back and no matter what we always had to buy doubles. I miss picking daises for "Queen Genesis" and pretending to be a servant who fell in love with another servant. I miss the apprehension and exciement that preluded my first kiss, and how I thought making-out was having sex until I actually did it. I miss the time I went to the mall with Gina, and got mad becauseshe laughed at a mentally retarded person and she told me how I needed to be more bad. I miss the summer where Gina and I bought rice Krispies and Oat Bran cereal and watched MTV. I miss the times we went to Canobie, and the car ride where I didn't listen to anything on the radio. I miss the friendships I had, the memories I created, the people I loved. Everything was an individual experience.
Sometimes, I wish I could revert back to those days. I'm still not prepared to let go, though I know I should. I need to embrace my future, for it's rapidly approaching no matter how hard I try to postpone it. I'm so close to graduating, which is an entirely depressing subject altogether. Then, I'll have become my own person and life as that will start unraveling. The people I grew up with, even if I didn't talk to them that often, will scatter to their colleges and so many of those people I'll never see again. After so many years of being in my life, they'll be gone in an instant. In a way, it's not a terrible thing because my life wasn't based around them. But it's still a saddening thing. People I promised to keep in touch with, I most likely won't, and soon my life will revovle around a family that I'll have created. Now is the trepidatious period in which I need to focus on rooting my career, and everything that I become involved with matters. It's not like those moments that seemed like days ago, where I wasn't limited to my actions and whatever I did was okay, because they weren't endangering my future.
I don't know if I'm even ready to endure it. I used to want to hasten myself and grow, but now that I have I just want everything to go slowly. I recall when my family attended Maple Park, my mother was speaking with a woman she knew, and she said how when you're little, you want to grow up but once you've grown, you just want to be young again. I didn't think it was necessarily true, but now I can see it's actuality.
I'm just not ready...things are just so different.
1.If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
it's something I've seriously considered.
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
lying, and cheating.
6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
aha. okay. if I had to choose...umm...Angie.
7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
falling in love...ehe.
8. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
everyone does at one point in time.
9. Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
10. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
I don't remember.
11. What did the last text message you sent say?
"My break is 5-5:15"
13. Fill in the blank. I love _______
playing on the train tracks.
14. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
complete Framed in Blood.
15. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
There's a few.
16. How many kids do you want to have?
I'd prefer to sew up my vag.
17. Would you make a good parent?
That's something I'll have to find out when it happens.
18. Where was your default picture taken?
My room, I was sitting on my heater, and it was because I really faniced my eye makeup and wanted to take a picture. So I did.
19. What's your middle name?
yo' face. (marie)
20. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
I kissed Lolli's spine and now I have dust in my mouth.
22. Shoe size?
23. What are you wearing right now?
Black pants. Black wal-mart top. Skelanimals sweater. Skelanimals socks. Shoes! And of course, makeup and a nose ring and an eyebrow barbell and earrings and a necklace.
24. Righty or lefty?
25. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
26. Best place to eat?
27. Favorite jeans?
the ones I'm donning are just dandy.
28. Favorite animal?
I'm a rodent-lady.
And I like foxes, and puppies and kitties, and oh hell I love everything!
29. Favorite juice?
Depends on what I feel like drinking.
30. Have you had the chicken pox?
I have a stupid scar on my forehead.
31.Have you had a sore throat?
I didn't like it.
32. Ever had plastic surgery?
33. Who knows you the best?
Gina, and Ben, and Sabrina knows her stuff.
34. Do you get along with your family?
this moment, no.
36. Ever been in a physical fight with family member?
37. Been to Mexico?
39. Did you get sick today?
I got the nose snifflies, but that's all.
40. Do you miss someone today?
no, I don't think so.
41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
42. When is the last time you had a massage?
43. Last person to see you cry?
45. Who made you cry?
46. What was the last TV show you watched?
The Emperor's New Groove.
47. What are your plans for the weekend?
Well, Friday I'm getting my check and hopefully purchasing new books and getting mi Ipod fixed ,and maybe some christmas shopping. But that's it.
48. Who do you think will repost this?
I don't really care.
49. Are you happy?
JANUARY 1, 2008!
I'm debating wiether or not to upload a new video, a fifteen second clip of pennsylvania concert :]
I've got many many more, as the stupid thing only goes for fifteen seconds, and hopefully ben got some on his camera, which I accidentally broke, but anyways I only get so much text messaging a month and if I sent them all to myself I'd probably go over. I got some lovely pictures, too, so I'll post those as well at the end of this bulletin. I got so many, but as I said with the videos I can't send all the picture ones. Once I get the ones from ben's camera, I will upload them as soon as possible.
All in all, amazing concert. It was worth the drive, too, and I highly enjoyed that roadtrip despite the heat. That was terrible. But it was rather fun visting each state, and there were some beautiful sights too, like a big bridge. The concert itself was fucking great, the music live made it ten times better to hear it, and I got to meet them for a breif moment. !!
iouulhdasugfsjlbxljfc. it was just freaking amazing.
AAANNNNNNNDDDD yesterday was Jussi's birthday! yip!
JULY 10 2007.
I guess I'm off to Pennsylvania.
we haven't gotten the tickets, so ben's on the phone with the ticket master man being all wtf yo c'mon.
I'm tired, my belly hurts, I do not have my ipod and my mother is being a cunt. how thrilling.
I suppose you can text, cause al the old crap has been cleared, or call. whichever. I'mma be gone 'til tomorrow, and I most likely will be shunned from electronics and civilization cause my mother is making me go to camp cause I disrespected her by being away the past four days, but then again I always seem to be freaking doing that. she's a fucking pshyco. hsjfkjhdfsldhgsljfdsk.
love you losers!
JULY 9 2007.
Avril Lavigne is a completely washed-out pop star.
'punk' my ass.
I remember I saw her once in concert way back in the day, when she at least sounded decent. Now she seems so fake singing "hey hey you you!" in a studded belt.
I'm watching Jawbreaker.
Neopets is the fucking shit.
how the hell did I forget about it for so long??
Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.
4 letter word:
State or Country:
Something you wear:
Something found in a kitchen:
Reason for Being Late:
jacking off to girls doing jumping jacks with gigantic jugs! yes. I do it all the time.
Something You Shout:
"japanese man run!" - Gina.
JULY 8 CONT.
I'm at Gina's house now:D
It's gonna be a sweet ass night, lemme tell you.
Tomorrow is monday, which means that tuesday I'm going to pennsylvania! wheehooo! I'm all jittery inside cause it means I'm gonna see the 69 eyes. yesss.
okay. well. I'm gonna do stuff.
(this is when I thought squintsy was a boy, and rudy used to want to eat them, considering they were the only other pets I had besides her. She was a good baby. I miss her.)
JULY 8 2007.
fuckin' a. I guess I'm going to camp......?
not fucking fun. hisssssss.
I stayed over bianca and sabrina's house..so I'm pretty much functioning on two hours of sleep. I didn't get much the other day with kayla and gina..freaking great night too. I'm pretty sure there is some benadryl still in my bloodstream, hence my frequent tiredness. yipyip.
mmkay. I suppose I'm off. this should be dandy..yes?
JULY 7 CONT.
REST IN PEACE
Milkshake has passed on.
I hoped she had a good life, I tried to give her a good enviornment for both her and her sisters. I feel I hadn't done what I should've though, and that's one of those things that eats at me. Those regrets and could-have-should-haves one often becomes plagued with after a demise.
All in all, emotions won't bring anyone back, or fix something you've already done, or what you could have done. I know I loved her and still do. I'm gonna miss her :(
JULY 7 2007.
wee baby bat
on my leg! or hip! or something! :D
I gots me a tattooo, thanks to susie for the wnderful birthday present.
It's a little bat, right under my hip bone. it felt like a bunch of bee stings, and then I couldn't feel it towards the end. it hurts a little bit now, but oh well! I have a tattoo! and I'm underage! haha! yeah.
pictures soon, I hope. :]
JUNE 24 2007.
pretty sweet party, I must say.
It was so fucking random, it was great.
Thanks to Katie, some pretty fantastic pictures have emerged.
If anyone else has any, please send them to me?
Anyways, thanks to everyone who came, it was fucking amazing to see you, thanks to those who bore gifts even though I said not to, and well just thanks in general to everybody for everything. it was a wonderful evening.
JUNE 23 2007.
Me and Sarah tried bleaching the red out of my hair last night, cause I wanted to re-colour it, and it came out this freaky deaky orange colour, ahaha.
I'm a lion!!
Anyways, a bunch of my mom's friends are over and they're not letting put anymore dye in my hair, so I'm a bit stuck like this for a week.
And I have this annoying 'spot' on my leg, I don't know what it is cause everyone's saying different things concluding what it really is so thereforth I've got no idea. But it itches, and hurts. And is red. So yes.
I'M HAVING A PARTY TODAY, AS MOST OF YOU KNOW.
IF YOU WANT, BRING YOUR HAGGARD LITTLE ASSES. THE MORE, THE MERRIER :D
STARTS AT SEVEN, AT THE AMERICAN LEGION. IT'S A COSTUME PARTY, SO BE PRETTY :]
see you there!
JUNE 21 2007.
okayyy so here I am lying in bed, half-awake, right,
and my eyes, mostly my right if I can recall correctly, get this pinchy-feeling. My head distorts this pain as a dream where I was accidentally closing my eyes between my fingers cause I was holding my eyelashes or something stupid like that. I open up my eyes and feel a funny tickleing feeling and brush a freakin ant off my face. A damned ant bit my eye. hahah what the hell. it was so fucking random.
there lies my wonderous story of the evening.
my party's in two days! :D
it's going to be sweet, all the black lights and strobe lights and techno!
Anyways, I need a definate yes you can go or no you cannot, so please let me know. It's from seven p.m. to eleven, so you can also arrive late if something arises or whatnot. Also, let me know if you're dressing up or not.
Lastly, any song requests? Get them in now, I'll most likely get them on the playlist.
Kayla and Gina are coming to my party you twits.
get readyyyyyy :P
JUNE 19 2007.
haha. I'm going to Pennsylvania to see The 69 Eyes in July. 'tis great :D
JUNE 18 2007.
yay for puking!
I had to pee, which I did some time ago, and after that I felt so fatigued that I was shaking.
So me makes some soup, and it didn't do much cause I still feel sick.
I'm also kind of mad, but I don't really know why.
I have a sort of pissy-offy mood towards several things I guess, or maybe I just feel like being mad. I don't know.
Maybe, just maybe, I'll be going to Pennsylvania or Maryland to see my Finnish hubbies in concert. Again. Yay.
pooo on you.
JUNE 10 2007.
thank you for all the birthday wishes, and the few who called, it was nice to hear from you :D
all in all i suppose today was fun in it's own awkward way,
ben gave me two cds and a shirt he made, sarah got another cd,
so now i have all the 69 eyes cds, with the exception allie has my devils cd,
and my grandmother got me a real gold-and-diamond nose ring,
and i got $156 alltogether, as well as a tattoo from susie in the hopefully near future.
With luck I'll be getting my permit tomorrow, nor do I have to go to school and tuesday's my last day. It seems like I was a freakin' freshman just a short while ago, and now I'm nearly a junior. damn.
My mom says I can get a new pericing, but I don't really know how I feel about that. I mean yeah I want it but it's weird having her say okay when she's been so bitterly reluctant about it. grr. oh well.
I don't entirely know, I can't really describe what I exactly feel at the moment. I'm dissapointed, yet ecstatic. I want so much to freaking drive and get the ufuck out of this place, but I'm kind of afraid things are going to fast. I'm not really ready to be as old as I am, which okay isn't OLD, but still I can't help but sometimes want to speed my life up.
i have to finish framed in blood.
it's driving me insane.
1. How old will you be in 12 months?
2, Do you think you'll be married by then?
3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?
my party, projekt revolution,
4. Who was the last person you called?
ben, i think, at four in the morning to tell him i was mad.
5. Who was the last person to call you?
6. Do you prefer to call or text?
7. Do you have any pets?
Lola and Mademoiselle (rats), Zander (chinchilla), Fatass of Doom and Squints (mice)
8. What were you doing at 12am last night?
sitting on my bed reading and then ben called to say happy birthday right on the dot.
9. Parents seperated/divorced/married?
10. When was the last time you saw your mom?
a couple minutes ago.
11. What happened at 11:00am?
i was sitting on my bed and ben was being stupid, probably.
12. How many states have you lived in?
13. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
socks, most of the time.
15. Who is someone you havent talked to in awhile that you want to catch up with?
16. What was the last thing you ate?
pizza at two am.
17. What is your favorite ice cream?
18. What is your favorite dessert?
lots of things.
19. What is your favorite TV show?
20. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
21. Do you like coffee?
22. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average?
there isn't much of an average..
23. What do you drink in the morning?
whatever will quench my thirst.
24. Would you rather kiss someone with or without a tongue ring?
either I guess. I'm kind of curious to know what with is like.
25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
26. Do you know how to play poker?
27. Do you like to cuddle?
not so much.
28. Any plans for this weekend?
29. Do you eat out or at home more often?
32. Would you ever get your nipples pierced?
34. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
35. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
36. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
37 what is your favorite thing to spend money on?
whatever I want!
38. Do you wear any jewelery 24/7?
six earrings in ears, nose stud, two rings and ankh necklace.
39. Do you speak any other languages?
I used to know a wee bit of finnish, but i forgot it.
40. Can you roll your tongue?
41. Who is the funniest person you know?
42. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
44. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
45. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
46. What is the color of your bedroom walls?
47. Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth?
48. Have you been kissed by anyone this week?
49. Do you like overly sensitive people?
50. Do you talk to the person who posted this before you?
not so much anymore.
JUNE 8 2007.
I went to the mall with susie,
and ben of course,
and she got a 388 dollar paycheck sooo we decided to go shopping! haha yay!
we spent the lovely afternoon looking at stuff in hot topic, where I saw these boots I wanted but they didn't have my size, but susie got some cute stuff. then we went to things remembered so she could get dogtags engraved. afterwards we trekked on to rave, where she works, and she tried on all this stuff and bought so much underwear, and got me three pairs. they are freakin' sexy :D afterwards we decided to go eat, and we were fat piggies at that, with the fries and apple pies and burgers and wraps and sodas and chinese food. it was great. there was a moment where I freaked out cause Ben lost my sweatshirt, which I'd asked him to hold when we were in hot topic and had my ipod in it, but he found it there so it was all good, and me and susie had a cigarette and stuff, picked up her things from Things Remembered, and then she left. Ben bought me some high tops and I was all hey swift! and he got boooots. then we went to his work, which was an outdoor pool mind you, which I died in cause of the infinite sunlight. I guess I was being a real crab, too, cause Ben told me once the sun went down, I got all perky again. Which I kind of realized, but I didn't think was that bad only cause the sun makes me REALLY drowsy, and I was laying on a chair, well more like loafing, and I wasn't entirely in the right state of mind, as I felt really detached from myself. Anyway, his mom swatted my feet and would say stuff to me, but I was so much of a stupor I didn't acknowledge it. I knew it was happening, but at the same time I didn't. They thought I was sleeping. Hah. Before that though when we first got there, I put ben's shirt over mine and removed my shirt and bra and took my pants off and went swimming in ben's shirt and my terrifics, and he dragged me across the pool. then we sat in the hot tub for a bit and then he got out cause people were coming. So I ran into the boys bathroom and used paper towels to dry myself off and got dressed. I used some panties susie bought me. yay.
I'mma go play cooking mama!
the end of your school year is NEAR, fill out this survey according to all of things you have accomplished..
-Changed hair colors?
-Broken up with somebody?
-Met someone hard to live without?
was this year the best year so far?
--it was a fun year.
-Made new friends?
-Failed a class?
-Lose any old friends?
-Get in a fight with a friend?
-Gone to a movie with a friend?
-Lost a family member?
-Get any taller?
-Know people that graduated from high school?
-Hug more than 3 different people?
-Tell some one you love them and mean it?
-Went to a fair?
-Dated/ "talked to" someone you wish you hadn't?
-hated someone of the opposite sex?
-Hated someone of the same sex?
-Saw a kiddie movie at the theaters?
-Spent most of your year watching Tv ?
-Sat through something boring?
-drove a car?
- REGRET SOMETHING YOU DID?
Post this with My _ Grade Year
JUNE 7 2007.
hahahaha i found waldo!!
JUNE 6 2007.
I GOT A CHINCHILLA TOOODAYY!!! :D
his name's Alexander, but I've been dubbing him 'Zander for short.
JUNE 5 2007.
we all know the red is going bye-bye,
not that I want it too, it just is.
I think I'm going to go back to black,
and then I'm pretty sure I'm having extentions put in, but I believe if I do I'll only put them underneath, and they will be purple and black leopard print.
MegVeg is doing them, she's superb.
MAY 20 2007.
ANOTHER IMPORTANT LESSON FROM JANET69:
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER TAKE ONE OF THEM GLOBY THINGIES THAT YOU CAN PUT YOUR FINGER ON AND IT GOES ALL ELECTRIFY-LIKE (SUCH AS:)
YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW THAT WHEN YOU TOUCH IT AND TOUCH SOMEONE ELSE, YOU SHOCK EM, BUT NEVER EVER PUT YOUR HAND ON IT AND KISS SOMEONE ELSE.
GOD IT FREAKIN HURTS!! :D
MAY 19 1007.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX.
No, I'm justt kidddinngg :D
we will tell of the amazing ness of prom, and how 28 Weeks Later completely kicks the ass of 28 Days Later.
well prom, well it was freaking amazing. not as much drama as I expected, which is indeed a good thing. basically, there was little to none at all. or, at least I didn't suffer the wrath of it. My dress didn't like my boobies, which was why it sort of slipped down a bit most of the time. It didn't fall off though, so it's all good. THEY HAD VEGETARIAN STUFF! and I got a plate of noodles just for me, and everyone else didn't. But they got these amazing potatoes so I pretty much ate all of bens taters. The broccoli was fucking good too. I don't care what you say, that's my favourite vegetable. Anyways, I GOT DIPPIN DOTS, MAN. They were fucking great. You're jealous. The music, although 99.9% horrible, was good enough for dancing. A lot of people were grinding, by the way, and making out on the dance floor. and then the after prom party kicked ass on top of that, with the air brush tattoos and tshirts. Though, ben put a request in at the beginning of the night and we waited all night, and at four in the morning when they were packing up he was like wtf. so they made it for me. it says I Love Finnish Men :D I got three tattoos, too. A bat on my back, biohazard sign on the nape of my neck, and the eye of horus on my right shoulder. yippie. and I won a brunch for four at crowne plaza and 25 bucks to the container store, hahaha. Oh, and there was a mechanincal bull. I did indeed ride it. The gloves were really grimy, cause you had to wear them and many people wore them. I spent most of my time in the big inflatable obstacle course wrestling with everyone and dying of air loss. it was great. and I fell asleep for two minutes on a chair. And I took a bucket and candy. yeah. good times.
I took lots of pictures. Maybe I'll put some up. Who knows.
and the movie...so intense. more gore, yay.
just go watch it. it's enthralling.
MAY 15 2007.
I got my boots,
BUT THE PLATFORMS ARE SO FREAKING BIG.
my mom said I looked like the bride of frankenstien in them..hahah.
so I don't know if I'm sending them back and getting new ones, or just hacking off a good chunk of the heel.
Anyways, I went to Ben's at seven o clock tonight, and i played in the back yard barefoot (ben found a ball driving home) and I blew lots of dandelions and the fuzz got all in my hair, and then i spit a bunch at Ben. When I was climbing up into the treehouse, he found a dead bird and so we buried it, and I found a worm on his shoulder. I named it Priscilla.
ThenI saw the blue plastic pool behind his shed, so I made him clean it out while I sat on the swing set and then I put his bathing suit on and played in the mud while he scrubbed it. Then I splashed him with the hose and get my legs REALLLYY wet.
MAY 14 2007.
AND ON THE WAY THERE, CAUSE BEN FATTYPANTS IS DRIVING ME, WE'RE GONNA HAVE AN EATING PARTY! SEXY, YES? I DO BELIEVE SO MYSELF.
MAY 11 2007.
I WISH I HAD MONEEYYYY.
I WOULD GO BUY THINGS.
I'M GOING TO GO HAVE SARAH AND KATIE PICK ME UP NOW,
SO WE WILL ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITES!
JUST KIDDING! (or am i?)
1. Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
2. What do you want to do before you die?
3. Are you single?
4. What's one thing you will not eat?
ABSOLUTELY NO MEAT (FISH AND POULTRY IS CONSIDERED MEAT, BTW) AT ALL.
5. What color is your underwear?
AT THE MOMENT, ORANGE.
6. When is the last time you went out of state?
SORT OF LAST WEEKEND, I WAS ON THE BOARDER OF NEW HAMPSHIRE.
7. Who was your last received call?
8. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
10. Can you hula hoop?
11. Have you ever crawled through a window?
AND WILL CONTINUE DOING SO.
14. Was today better than yesterday?
IN WAYS, YES.
15. Is anybody getting on your nerves?
16. Do you talk to yourself?
17. Do you like animals?
I WUFF THEM :D
19. Ever waxed your eyebrows?
I USE TWEEZERS FOR THE TIME BEING.
20. Earrings or necklaces?
EARRINGS AND NECKLACE!
21. Are you mad at anybody?
24. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
ONLY CERTAIN KINDS.
25. What are you doing tonight?
SLEEPING AT SARAH'S HOUSE.
26. What time is it?
27. Are you loud?
YES. WHEN I WANT TO BE.
28. What are you looking forward to?
DOODE SEEING GINA FARO TOMORROW.
29. Do you watch Family Guy regularly?
30. Have you ever watched a little kids show?
YEP. I DON'T WATCH MTV :]
31. What does your last inbox text say?
PLEASE CALL 5083955009
32. Zodiac sign?
33. Are you wearing socks?
34. What is your religion?
37. What's something you have nightmares about?
LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM WHERE BEN WAS A SEA MONSTER AND HAD ALL THESE SQUIRMY EYES ON HIS TAIL, AND WHEN I SAW IT I GOT SCARED SO I MADE HIM TAKE ME BACK TO SHORE AND HE DID AND WHEN WE GOT THERE I WAS NAKED IN A TOWEL AND HE HAD JUST A SHIRT AND MY FAMILY WAS COMING OVER, AND I RAN UP A PATH AND THEN I BEGAN SQUEEZING BEN'S HIPS, AND KAYLA AND SHANE COME UP TO US AND THEY'RE LIKE WTF! SO I TELL HER I'M SQUEEZING HIS HIPS, AND THEN THEY LEAVE. AND THEN I WAS IN KRISTENE'S BATHROOM, AND MY GRANDMOTHER WAS ON THE PHONE WHILE MY MOM, DAD AND A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE WERE STANDING WITH ME AND SHE WAS TALKING TO SOME GUY, SAYING, "OH SO WE CAN COME GET HER NOW??" AND APPARENTLY MY DOG WAS STILL ALIVE, THEY JUST HID HER AT THE VET AND LIED TO ME ABOUT IT.
AND IF IT ISN'T SOME WHACKED OUT CRAP, I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT DINOSAURS.
38. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster?
39. Do you care what others think about you?
WHY SHOULD I?
40.What do you do all the time in a car?
POP MY IPOD IN, AND IF IT'S NOT MY FAMILY THEN VARIOUS OTHER THINGS SUCH AS SCREAM OUT THE WINDOW OR POKE MY FEET OUT.
41. Do you trust people easily?
42. Do you follow college football?
43. Where was the last place you went shopping?
NATICK MALL, I THINK.
44. Favorite football team?
45. Do you watch the Olympics?
46. Last bar you went to?
47. Do you have a favorite number?
48. Are you multitasking right now
49. Could you handle being in the military?
50. Do you believe in karma?
IN A SENSE, I SUPPOSE.
51. How is the weather today?
52. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
JUMPED IN THE POOL WITH MY CLOTHES ON WITH KAYLA WHILE IT WAS STILL IN MY POCKET.
APRIL 26 2007.
she passed away today.
she had stomach cancer, and was all shakey and couldn't move this morning.
I didn't get to say goodbye, at least not completely.
I really miss her.
APRIL 23 2007.
I went to the rainforest cafe today, and got a cup that sparkles and shit when you press a button!
and a red gumball. I chewed it delightfully.
I think I'll go in my room and sit there now. It's a mess.
I got a black light! :D
APRIL 21 2007.
and he is here in danvers with me! at eleven o clock at night!
but whatever! I won't be bored! yay!
APRIL 18 2007.
today's just a sucky day.
My uncle passed away today.
I don't know..
really. I don't.
APRIL 17 2007.
[ ] I think I'm gonna have a high score on this.
[ ] I don't talk to one or both of my parents that much.
[x] I have said horrible things to someone's face.
[x] I give people disgusting looks a lot.
[x] I've been known to have an attitude.
[x] I took heads off dolls or action figures when I was little.
[x] I have destroyed something valuable on purpose.
[x] Most people suck.
[x] I have thrown tantrums.
Total so far: 7
[x] I get mad easily.
[ ] I have no clue when im doing it.
[x] Sometimes I order people around.
[ ] I am/WAS known around my neighborhood as the kid everyone else doesn't want their kids hanging out with.
[x] I've argued with a teacher.
Total so far: 10
[x] I could care less about other peoples opinions about me
[x] I love messing with other people's heads.
[ ] I've been told I'm conceited.
[x] I joke around.
[x] I yell daily
Total so far: 13
[ ] I seem to always be in a fight with someone.
[ ] I don't like smiling but do anyways.
[x] I know at least 3 people I would like to beat the shit out of.
[x] I love pranking people.
[x] I fucking hate a lot of people.
[x] I say fuck a lot.
[x] some people annoy me very easily.
[x] I think some people are just flat out immature.
[x] I always have to get the last word.
Total so far: 20
ADD UP ALL THE X's AND MULTIPLY BY 4, THEN
REPOST THIS AS' !I AM __% OF AN ASSHOLE/BITCH
APRIL 16 2007.
I got bored, so I had a rodent photoshoot. :]
Madamoiselle and Lola.
Lola, and Madamoiselle's head in the corner.
Sarah's rat, Alice.
the camera batteries died, otherwise I'd have pictures of Squints, Fattie, and Dutchess.
APRIL 15 2007.
i hate vacation.
'specially when everyone leaves you and you're alone doing nothing but eating and watching movies, and occasionally going to gina's house so you can have spitball fights in the middle of the street and see five dead squirrels. yeppp.
IM ME. INVADER JANET.
wellll I'm off to go watch the crow.
I've really got nothing else to do.
LATER ON APRIL FOURTEENTH:
I've got an itchy on my head!
la la la la la la la!!
I'm watching Beetlejuice with Gina causeeeee we are kool kats.
APRIL 14 2007.
I'm freakin' bored.
I have no friends.
everyone is gone.
I'm babysitting Sarah's rat and mouse.
so now I've got three mice and three rats <3
1. How old will you be in 12 months?
2. Do you think you'll be married by then?
3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?
several things...sweet sixteen, camp, summer only cause I won't have to go to school, driver's lisence thingie..
4. Who was the last person you called?
5. Who was the last person to call you?
6. Do you prefer to call or text?
7. Do you have any pets?
A dog, two mice and two rats.
8. What were you doing at 12am last night?
watching pet semetary.
9. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
10. When is the last time you saw your mom?
a moment ago.
11. What happened at 11:00a.m.?
12. How many states have you lived in?
13. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
socks, or shoes.
15. Are you a social person?
to some extent.
16. What was the last thing you ate?
17. What is your favorite ice cream?
18. What is your favorite dessert?
19. What is your favorite TV show?
Scrubs, Invader Zim,
20. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
21. Do you like coffee?
22. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average?
whenever I want water.
23. What do you drink in the morning?
whatever I want.
24. Would you rather kiss someone with or without a tongue ring?
I'd like to try with for once.
25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
yeah, actually, more on the right.
26. Do you know how to play poker?
27. Do you like to cuddle?
28. Any Plans for next weekend?
Martha's Vineyard for a communion, and Animae Boston with Lou and Gimli.
29. Do you eat out or at home more often?
30. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
well not personally.
32. Would you ever get your nipples pierced?
no, probably not.
33. Have you ever smoked?
34. Have you ever been in an ambulance?
35. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
my bathtub, if any.
36. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
37. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
I sorta-kinda do..
38. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
what I want.
39. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
ankh necklace, two rings, nose ring and six earrings.
40. Do you speak any other language?
a teeenie bit of Finnish.
41. Can you roll your tongue?
42. Who is the funniest person you know?
43. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
only The Third.
44. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
45. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
46. What is the color of your bedroom walls?
47. Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth?
48. Do you think Myspace is harmfull?
to some extent, I suppose. Quite addicting.
49.Do you like over sensitive People?
APRIL 11 2007.
there's something in my eye in which I cannot seem to remove,
and I have a lack of two double A batteries.
go suck a cock.
APRIL TENTH 2007.
if anyone has a car, could you be as kind as to give me a ride to school for the next three days?
as well as after school friday.
benny boy has work tomorrow, florida on friday, and I just don't want to see his stupid ass on thursday.
and since I've got no friends, care to be a little pal and at least fake that you like me and hang out with?
hope you all have one fan-fucking-tastic time, cunts.
APRIL EIGTH 2007.
HAPPY EASTER, SIRS.
BEN MORSE HAS KINDA BLACK HAIR NOW.
NO MORE BLONDE.
I LOVE GINA AND CORNNUTS.
APRIL FIFTH 2007.
I OWN RED HIGH HEELS.
Seriously. I do.
They're under my bed.
I went over Sarah's house toooday. We ate ramen, and pringles, and strawberries and poptarts and other goodies. and watched Family Guy. That show is fucking hysterical. Haha. yeah.
Now, I'm at home until seven thirty, which is when I should be doing some costume shopping. I love costume shopping. It's fucking awesome.
grahajkhhjdfjdf I can't believe it's april. you all suck.
I LOVE YOU. !
MORE O' APRIL 3RD.
with the bass, the rock, the mic, the treble..
I LIKE MY MEN FINNISH
JUST LIKE MY METAL :D
APRIL THIRD, 2007.
WHY IS MY HEAD SO WEIRD?
so basically, I had another dream. why my dreams are so freakin' random and have the most unexpected people, I do not know.
The only parts I really remember from last night's adventure in dream-land was me and ben went to bianca's house and we were watching a movie and looking at photo albums and talking and etc. and we were all on a black couch thingie and she had a blanket over her. when we left, ben was like OMG ARE YOU OKAY? WILL YOU BE ALRIGHT? and I kept pushing him away saying I'M FINE I'M FINE, and then he looked at me. the other part I remember was I was at the school, which had somehow turned rather castlesque, and I had brought my rats and mice to school that day and they were in Mr. Karetsky's room. I had been with Mr. Moloney and my history class and we were going to do something, but he asked me to go get the rodents so I did, and while doing that someone, I just can't remember who, gave me two bags of mcdonalds food. one was empty, the other had fries but I didn't eat them. instead I went to karetsky's room and put Lola and Madamoiselle in one bag and Squints and Fattie in the other and ran back towards the S wing where Moloney and class where. On the way I ran into Kelsey and I gave her the fries. Then when I got there, I took one of the rats out and Mr. Moloney was talking about how she's not catlike, since you could see all the blood pressure in her feet. then he told me to drop the rat, which was elbow's length away from thr ground, so I did, and she plopped to the tiles and moloney filmed it. then we were in the computer lab, and I was sitting next to sarah and we had to make a music video out of the footage moloney got of the rat, so I picked to do mine out of Poison, but some other girl in there was doing that song too, and she gave me a funny look and I just stood there and sang along, and she was like what the hell? then there is one other part I remember and it was allie and she was sitting at a desk doing a book report and she did this book that I've read once and in reality it's a good book but in dreamworld o' mine it was differently titled and such, though the cover looked the same and the concept of the book was the same thing. anyways, I was holding a rat and I saw her doing it and I said SHIT! I LOVE THAT BOOK! WHOSE IT BY AGAIN?? and she kept naming off these names and I was waiting for her to write it down for me but she was writing PZUAL on the book jacket. yep. the end.
SO MAYBE IT'S THREE MONTHS-ISH AWAY, BUT HEY IT'S GONNA BE A BIG BASH SO WHY THE HELL NOT START PLANNING?
I'VE DECIDED THAT FOR MY SWEET SIXTEEN,
I'MMA HAVE A FAIRY TALE TECHNO RAVE.
THAT IS FUCKIN' CORRECT.
AND I WILL BE YOUR QUEEN OF HEARTAGRAMS :D
ANYWAYS, I'VE DECIDED I REALLY DON'T CARE WHO COMES,
I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE INVITATIONS AND IF I [REALLY] DON'T LIKE YOU I'LL JUST KICK YOU OUT NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
BUT I'D LIKE IT IF YOU CHOSE A CHARACTER FROM A CARTOON, OR FAIRLY TALE OR DISNEY MOVIE OR SOMETHING, AND COME DRESSED AS SUCH. YOU DON'T HAVE TO, NO REQUIREMENTS BUT HEY IT'LL BE FUN. AND I WILL BE HAVING A BAWLS FOUNTAINô. TAKE THIS IDEA AND I WILL SHOVE YOU IN MY DRYER ALONG WITH FIFTY SHARP KNIVES. ANYWAY, THERE WILL BE BLACK LIGHTS AND SMOKE MACHINE AND STROBE LIGHTS AND OTHER RAVE-LIKE THINGIES AND MY FAVOURITE CHOICES OF TECHNO/INDUSTRIAL/ROCK MUSIC. AND FOOD, CAUSE I KNOW HOW ALL YOU YOU DEARS LOVE TO EAT. AND OTHER PARTY STUFF, I GUESS. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THAT FAR. SO YEP.
YOU'RE INVITED ♥
I'mma go take me a shower now :]
HEY EVERYBODY I'M THE SWEETHEART OF THE SONG TRA BONG :D
WHAT THE FUCK IS CULOTTES?
DUDE I WANNA WAKE UP WITH A LEECH ON MY TONGUE.
THEY KILL A BABY WATER BUFFALO. I DIDN'T LIKE THAT PART.
I HATE THIS STUPID BOOK.
You are 0% straight edge.
MARCH 31 2007.
I went to the common today, and I played with Sarah!
and most unfortunately, Ben Morse.
first, we went to George's and got Mozerella sticks, which tasted nummynummy. I saved the last one of my half for Ben, cause he had gone to get me money and didn't get any. And then he gave me forty bucks cause I said so.
So then we start walking to whereever, the legion I think it was cause we wanted to parade about the basement. it's all spooooooooky, and such. but we couldn't get in so we tried hopping the fence but that failed and we ended up climbing onto the roof and kicking a rusty paint can. and on our way there, my brother is walking to king wok and he said something to me and Sarah said I'VE NEVER MET YOU BUT I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. she's a sketchy sketchy kid. OKAY ANYWAYS. then we go to other places, mainly churches cause we wanted to go in and be scared. but everything was locked so we went to Tedeschi's and got candy, and ate it on the common. Sarah was telling me a naughty naughty story there and Ben was being obnoxious so I beat him up, and he ran away and kicked a pile of ice.
THEN we went to newbury comics and got me a new nose ring, and played with all the little miceie poos at petco. We raced Ben, we ran and he took his car and we wooonnnnn, cause we're cooool. and I GOT TO SEE SARAH'S N*SYNC TILE AND BIRDISH BALLET COSTUME AHAHAA. YEAH. the end :]
MARCH 30 2007.
so I'm screwing around with my itunes and such.
I need new music..graah.
stay tuned for more entries of love and excitement!
MARCH 29 2007.
I need gum. or something. I dunno.
BEN'S STUPID CAUSE HE HAS STUPID WORK UNTIL STUPID EIGHT O CLOCK. GRR.
I seriously sat down like, two hours ago and I swore to myself I'd write more of Framed in Blood.
I still haven't done that.
and freakin' fonts are gay, since I can't figure out how to make them work and I neeeeed them to.
ummm.....let's see. shout out to gina? yes.
OH SNAP I just remembered I hafta go message some ladychick who will graphically design a cover/banner for Framed in Blood.
i really gotta go peepee but the potty is too far awaaaayy.
i have health tomorrow first period. icky.
i want candy. i'm sleepy.
my foot's asleep.
MARCH 25 2007.
Barbie Girl is pretty damn funny in German.
(and japanese and french and spanish.)
I hate my father.
This whole weekend pretty much sucked.
I got some Bazooka bubblegum today.
And I took a shower.
And my head really hurts, so I'm going to bed.
001. Real name → Janet69.
002. Nickname → Janet.
003. Are you married → no.
004. Zodiac sign → Gemini.
005. Male or female → Vagina.
006. Elementary → Johnson.
007. Middle School → Wilson.
010. Hair color → black and orange.
011. Long or short → long.
015. Are you health freak → not quite.
017. Do you have a crush on someone→ :]
018. Do you like yourself→ I'm not my biggest fan.
019. Piercings → ears and nose.
020. Tattoos → none yet.
021. Righty or lefty → righty.
022. First surgery →
023. First piercing → ears.
024. First best friends → allie and gina.
025. First award → don't remember.
026. First sport you joined → cheerleading.
027. First pet → dog.
028. First vacation → er..new hampshire?
029. First concert → backstreet boys.
030. First crush → psh.
049. Eating → no.
050. Drinking → no.
052. I'm about to → pee my panties.
053. Listening to → silence.
055. Waiting for → this to be over.
058. Want kids?→ no.
059. Want to get married?→ I have no choice.
060. Careers in mind?→ novelist, tattoo artist.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :
068. Lips or eyes → eyes first.
069. Hugs or kisses → I dunno.
070. Shorter or taller → tall.
072. Romantic or spontaneous → romantically spontaneous.
073. nice stomach or nice arms → ben's got both :D
074. Sensitive or loud → both.
075. Hook-up or relationship → relationship.
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → both.
078. Kissed a stranger → no.
079. Drank bubbles → no.
080. Lost glasses/contacts → yes.
081. Ran away from home → tried.
084. Broken someoneís heart → no.
085. Been arrested?→ no.
086. Turned someone down → yes.
087. Cried when someone died → yes.
088. Liked a friend → I suppose.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself→ not quite.
090. Miracles → no.
091. Love at first sight→ absolutely not.
092. Heaven → no.
093. Santa claus → no.
094. Sex on the first date→ no.
096. Angels→ no.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now
098. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?
99. Do you believe in God?
100. Post this as "100 truths"
MARCH 23 2007.
MY BOYFRIEND WORKS AT HOT TOPIC AND YOURS DOESN'T
MARCH 22 2007.
STUPID FUCKING CUNT.
I'M FREAKIN' PISSED RIGHT NOW.
MARCH 11 2007.
my adventures in dreamland!
'kay so this was my dream last night.
I was at the school, and there was some sort of class, it was like guidance sem but not, and I was sitting there at my desk and mr. galvin came up to me and he asked "whose your teacher?" and I said some name that I can't remember and so he said "mr. astill?"
"no, Mr. somethingorother."
"oh. that's a shame."
"I thought you said mr. astill. this class proves to be one of the worst."
so he wrote down this mean comment thing he said in a yearbook and it made me really mad so I was telling all these people and I went up to mr. astill and was like LOOK and he said something. I left the classroom and went to the front of the school, and sat at this restaurant table with katie, bianca, and other people. so I pass the thing to katie and we forget about it and are all sitting there chatting. then I say something, and apparently it was funny, so bianca said something to me and I said "hi, I'm janet. I don't think we've ever met." I wasn't sure if she knew me, and even though I knew perfectly well who she was, I waited for her to say her name. she didn't, and there was this like, border-backround thing over her face and it had her name in it so I pretended to look for it and then was like, "ahh, okay I remember now it's bianca!" and so she smiled at me.
and i don't remember what happens next
BUT THEN I was with courtney and we were running around the front of the school looking for bianca cause I think I called her or something but either way she was there, and we couldn't find her until courtney was like LOOK THERE SHE IS! and pointed to the window that's in front of the school, and she was sitting there looking at her phone and the only way I could tell it was he was cause the sun made her pink hair go PIZZAH!
so I was like FUCK I have to call ben! so I take out my phone and call him and tell him "don't come to the high school"
"I wasn't going to"
"why?" I was panicking at this point, he sounded mad and I sort of thought he already knew.
so then he rants about something that I, again, cannot remember but it had nothing to do with what I previously thought so I was relieved.
"well that wasn't what I was going to say but still don't come to the high school."
and that's all I remember about that part.
but then I decided to go up to camp and tell gina. I'm in a weird car thing and I get there.
SO THENN there where these weird people in black cloaky things and they were trying to kill me, sarah, and I don't recall who the other person was, but we were running from them and being chased all over the campground. so this guy who I believe was the leader or something was following us, but sarah was dancing and so we used her as a decoy so we could hide in the other-person-who-i-can't-remember's trailer, which was this inflated balloon thingie that sprayed water from the top so it was small and wet and icky, but all three of us got in and hid and looked at the guy from out of the clear plastic walls.
yep. can't remember anymore. but wasn't that swell? :]
Intros Never Last was yesterday.
This time sarah and laura and courtney actually came, so I wasn't alone and I moshed and got a chunk of my hair ripped out. hah.
I got orange tips :D weehoo!
but yeahh. gooood times :]
MARCH 5 2007.
NO LYING QUIZ
1. last beverage: sierra mist.
2. last phone call: mommy.
3. last instant message: gina.
4. last cd played: Savage Garden - The 69 Eyes
5. last time you cried: few days ago.
6. Last text message?: pff.
SIX HAVE YOU EVERS:
1. dated someone twice: yes.
2. been cheated on?: yes.
3. kissed someone & regretted it?: yes.
4. lost someone special? yes.
5. been depressed: I suppose.
6. been drunk and threw up? no.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
THIS MONTH HAVE YOU
1. Made a new friend → no?
2. Fallen out of love → no.
3. Laughed until you cried → yes.
4. Met someone who changed your life → no.
5. Found out who your true friends were → somewhat.
6. Is there something you want to tell someone → probably.
7. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends → yes.
8. How many people on your top friends do you know in real life? all of them.
9. How many kids do you want to have? none.
10. Do you have any pets? two rats, Madamoiselle and Lola, two mice, Squints and Fattie, and a dog, Rudy.
11. Do you wanna change your name? just legally add the 69.
12. What did you do for your last birthday? gey.
13. What time did you wake up today? 5:15 AM.
14.What were you doing at midnight last night? talking to gina.
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for? ah there's lots.
16. Last time you saw your father? a second ago.
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?
not a lot.
18. What are you listening to right now? ben's stupid voice.
19. Have you ever talked to Tom? no.
20. Is there someone special on your mind? no.
21. Have you ever talked about someone behind their back?
22. What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone?
23. Who's getting on your nerves right now? hahaha...
24. Most visited webpage? quizilla or google.
25. Coke or Pepsi? pepsi.
26. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past week?
If you answered honestly to all these, repost as
"No Lying Quiz."
MARCH 4 2007.
LOOK AT ME!
I'M A TICKLEOSASARUS!
I hate you.
and that, my dears, is the end.
MARCH 1 LATER THAT DAY..
Even though I forbid you to listen to it,
I'm still going to sit here and tell you all how much you blatantly suck because I have the Angels cd!
hahaha!! the whole thing!
I'm so excited. 'Specially cause Angels seems to have more swears in it than Devils.
That thrills me so.
So yes. HAHAHAHAHAHA I HAVE IT AND YOU DON'T.
Buy it and you will burn in hell, which really means I will kidnap you in the middle of the night and tie you to a metal pole in my basement and burn you. Which, kiddies, I will do.
I love you :]
MARCH 1 2007.
I made a sam-mich.
I must cleanse the bathrooms now and wait for Ben to come here and bring me a copy of the ANGELS cd even though it will really be released in a week or so but I want it now. So he's getting it.
FEBRUARY 23 2007.
I just saw my school picture for the first time EVERRRR.
hahahaah I'm queer-looking.
I think that.. with the lack of surveys to do and people to converse with,
I shall go make chocolate covered strawberries.
cause I am kool.
FEBRUARY 21 2007.
what perplexes me is that there's an open water 2.
I mean, everyone knows the first one sucked.
just two people bobbing in the water with sharks.
I don't get how the first one was even based on a true story.
how do you know if they were eaten??
I just know the second will be just as bad.
They didn't even bother putting it in theatres.
why the fuck would you post something like that on the internet???
FEBRUARY 20 2007.
you people make me fucking sick.
I'm completely disgusted with my friends.
I seriously have come to be so ashamed of the people I hang out with.
You're all such little obnoxious faggots. You're two-faced, rumour-spreading, drama-enticing cunts. And I'm so sick of you all.
FEBRUARY 10 2007.
oh nelly. Saturdays are fun.
'specially when you are really sick, and you spent the whole day doing research on Nessie :]
Ben came over today, he made me soup. I wish I had more. Or chinese food. Yum.
And, I need to do laundry. In about an hour, I need to give Lola her medicine. I think I forgot to give it to her.
She got part of her tail cut off. Her sister bit her, and now they are in seperate cages.
I brought her to school the other day, and it was funny cause people would either be like AWWWW SHES SOO CUTE! or OH MY GOD IT'S A RAT!
I love my rats!
AN IRRITATED ENTRY ON FEB 8.
I don't a freakin' shit if you're my mother or not,
you can NOT tell me who the fuck I should be.
Don't you dare tell me I need to get a new attitude, my attitude perfectly fine.
Don't tell me to stop being around certain people, and that I have no social activities. Fuck you. It's my life, I'll choose who I want to hang around with and what to do with it. Because I prefer to stay at home and you don't agree with that does not give you a right to critize my life. I'm perfectly content with where mine is going, and because you hate yours
Don't tell me how to take care of my pets, how my room should look. It's my room, I sleep in it, not you. I'll make it look how I want. I don't tell you what yours should look like, so don't think you can tell me what to do with mine. You want a certain room other than my room cleaned? Do it yourself. It's your fucking house, you complain about it, so get off your ass and do it.
I'm sick of all the stupid bullshit. I fucking hate everyone in the stupid hellhole of a house. I can't stomach my family.
Just fucking fuck off.
FEBRUARY 8 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith died.
it's cold. I believe I'm going to go shower now.
So here is a dead girl with an axe in her face.
FEBRUARY 3 2007.
I have to go to Danvers. Which, I hate a whole freakin' lot.
cause all they do is get drunk, which then means I get to watch satan-baby. who is the offspring of satan.
Ben is coming too, but I can't ride in the same car as him,
cause he's a fucktard who has a junior license, that's why.
and normally that wouldn't be so bad, but stupid parents that like to be stupid and law-obiding are making it bad.
dead babies. the end.
and i hate ben. cause he is mexican, or something:]
FEBRUARY 2 2007. AGAIN. AND ANNOYED.
BEN MORSE AND I ARE JUST DANDY, THANKS.
your petty little life must really suck if you've got to go around spreading rumours about our relationship.
Allie, Sarah, Tom (who else?) have been questioned with things such as "what's up with Janet?" "I heard Ben and Janet got into a fight." "Ben and Janet broke up."
WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU FAGGOTS?
SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS YOU LITTLE PRISSES, AND GO FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW YOU CUT YOUR WRISTS YOU EMO CUNTS.
I don't know how the fuck this got started, cause in no way have we fought, nor have any intentions of breaking up anytime soon.
You've got a problem about it? You deal with it with me.
When I find out who decided to start this, I'm going to kick their fucking ass. You're a fucking prat with no life if this is the shit you're going to pull.
FEBRUARY 2 2007.
I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOOOLLL TOODAAYYY.
I didn't feel like it. Shitty day, I think.
Nonetheless, everyone's at school and I'm here all alone doing squat so I think I'll go watch Van Helsing.
OH LOOK!! ROBYN JUST IMMED ME!
I was supposed to watch Ven Helsing at stupid ben-morse's house yesterday but I didn't cause 1. I was too busy squirming like a puppy cause I'm a fidgety person and 2. Charlie got this MASSIVE thingie-mo-bobber that required ben to go help them get it up the stairs so I decided to watch. Sort of. So yes.
My rats are jerks. They knocked their water bottle thing off the wire and lost it so I can't find something to tie it back up with.
MY JEANS ARE DONE DRYING!
I WILL REMOVE THEM FROM THE WASHING MACHINE AND WEAR THEM NOW!
It's February 2.
five years :(
my life tottally sucks, man.
I have a juice box. but, I drank it so now it is no more.
AND FREAKIN' PROUD FAMILY IS ON RIGHT NOW.
I hate that show. I'm cold. My jeans were just unbuttoned and I have no recollection of as to why. I think I went pee or something, and forgot to fix my pants.
I'm really bored, actually. and it's only 1:07. holy crap.
maybe I'll go read. or roll around in the carpets or something.
FEBRUARY 1 2007.
I just ate wendies.
I feel like a fat piggie now.
I'm off to take a shower. I suppose if you really must you can call me, considering I have nothing else to do. And it's not like I haven't showered and phonedcalled at the same time.
And no, there was no phone sex or fantasizing. Of course, unless you are Gina. Then it is a must.
Showers are nifty, yes?
JANUARY 31 2007.
I HATE MY MOTHER.
So she puts a roof over my head and feeds me,
but frankly I don't think it's worth it of all she can fucking do is make me feel like complete shit.
I hate that woman so fucking much. I'm sorry if it offends.
I'm sick of her stupid bullshit. I'm sick of her taking her anger out on me. I realize it's my fault her life sucks so bad, but it's not like I had much of a choice when I was being made.
I hate her.
She's a fucking drunk.
A fucking cunt. Cause all she apparently knows how to do is drink, smoke, and bitch her brains ouy when something isn't to her standards.
I hate everything about that stupid excuse of a mother. And of course my dad doesn't do anything, and when he does he has to sit and drink too or hit my mom or yell at me for failing school or cause Ben went home ten minutes late or some stupid shit. But hey, at least he says he loves me.
(Which by the way, he probably only says. I'm their daughter. They have to say it.)
I can't fucking live in this house anymore. I just need some place else to go. I won't ever look up to my mother anymore, how can I to someone how apparently can't stomach me. Well, 'scuse me for fucking trying to please you. And now, seeing as I can't do that, I'm completely content in the fact I'm just going to leave, because if I can find someone else that doesn't mind me living there, why should she bitch at me? That means less bills for her.
This probably isn't fucking worth it.
LATER THAT DAY ON JAN. 30...
Yessir! 69 Eyes pictures are here!!
well, some of them. These are the ones taken with Ben's camera.
More, better ones to come.
plus, new video from the concert. It's a sucky clip, but hey, you see Jussi shirtless!!
JUST FOR ALLIE CROSBY ♥
JANUARY 30 2007.
How come I can never seem to shut my mouth when I should?
Or better yet, why don't I say anything when words need to be said?
I'm a stubborn bitch.
And I can apologize all I want for being one. And really, I am sorry. I mean, half the things that are bad in my life are caused by me. So I really shouldn't be complaining.
But no matter how much I apologize, I'll still be one.
It's something no matter how hard I try, I can't change.
I really can't do this anymore. I know I've said that countless times, but seriously. All I do is hurt the people around me. I think it's time for me to take a trip. Maybe I need to go away for a little while.
Nonetheless the point of this was to apologize.
I'm really sorry.
I should apologize for being "immature" and for "acting like a fifth grader" at times.
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street)
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink).
7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name)
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (dad's middle name)
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets)
JANUARY 26 2007. YAYYY. AGAIN!
69 EYES = FUCKING AMAZING.
Second time is even better than the first.
-Framed in Blood
so I was squashed between two massivley fat people, and I was thinking to myself, "Hey this is the 69 motherfuckin' eyes you WILL be up front, no matter what." So, I pushed and got my way. Yayyy. I got lootttssss of pictures, and one video, but I'll upload those later.
SO THE FREAKIN' BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE NIGHT
is the part where JUSSI69, TIMOTIMO, JYRKI69, AND BAZIE walk past me, like two or so feet away. I was standing by the metal rail thingie that seperates you from the stage and the crowd, and I was all squished against it watching Cradle of Filth play and first Jussi walks by and I'm all HEYYYYYYYY but he ignores me. But then he tripped and I giggled cause it was funny. Then several minutes later he comes back, Timo-Timo following. At this point, I'd abandonded watching Cradle of Filth and glued my eyes to the backstage door thing where they kept coming from and soon after Jyrki and Bazie follow and I'm like YESSSS and reach my hand out and just barely swipe Jyrki's arm. He didn't notice though. I was sad.
My god those men are so fucking AMAZING live. and SEXIER in person, lemme tell you. And I will meet them one day, you know it.
I got a swell shirt. I wanted the other two they had but I had no money.
-I got a nosebleed during the third or fourth song of 3 Inches of Blood. It was fun. I got it everywhere. But then I wiped it on Ben.
Also, seeing as a moshpit broke out, some kid smashed into me and my hipbone got crushed into the metal side thing. And, a buncha people were crowdsurfing, which I considered doing just to get taken down and put off to the side where Jyrki and Jussi had been walking through. And I was going to take my bra off and throw it on stage but I forgot to do that.
-A bunch of ugly guys walked by, and keep in mind they had like, little to no hair on their heads, and they ran by bun muttering "nice hair" so I went all Nazi on them, screaming "FUCK YOU YOU STUPID SHITS WHY DON'T YOU SUCK MY DICK YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS" and such. It was great.
I'm so freakin' tired right now.
I think that I'm gonna go make some food, then do something that requires little to no energy.
JANUARY 26 2007.
JANUARY 25 2007.
tonight was disasterous.
I don't want to be around for tomorrow.
Except for the part with the Finns. But even that is completely ruined, and I don't know if I want to go.
My distaste for mankind and everything about it has only been fed. My hatred has merely escalated, the list of people and things I cannot stand has grown.
Sometimes I wonder that I'll end up hating everything, even the things I love, not that I did it intentionally, and will live the rest of my life a lonely bitter person. My hate never goes away, it's either just there, or it's growing.
And, I know this is just another stupid rant. I don't care. Half of you won't bother reading this, cause you skimmed the first line and thought to yourself "oh she's complaining again." Some of you will read it, out of boredom possibly, who knows, but won't care enough to reply. That's okay, I don't want replies anyway. Either that, or you'll think I want attention. Some won't bother opening this useless bulletin. Maybe they don't want to, or maybe by the morning it will be pushed back several pages because of the other bulletins posted. Who knows.
I just have to say it. If I don't I get frustrated even more than I already am.
I HAVE TO PEE.
THIS MEANS I'M GONNA TAKE A SHOWER TOO.
I'll be on later CAUSE I CANT MOTHERFUCKIN' SLEEP.
JANUARY 23 2007.
BEN MORSE YOU ARE THE MOST ENTHRALLING BOY I KNOW.
YOU ARE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL; I LOVE YOU.
with that being said,
I'm really happy,
yet at the same time, I'm really not.
There are a number of reasons, some of them being personal, so don't ask. I hate it when people ask, because then I often feel obliged to tell them but yet I don't want everyone to know. You know? Sure you do.
Just, please don't be too dissapointed in me, okay?
JANUARY 21 2007.
I feel like complete and utter shit as of right now.
So, yes, this does indeed mean more ranting words!!! yayy!!
I write this because I have anger, sadness, possibly even pain, that I need help comprehending.
What better way, for myself at least, to decipher this than to document it.
Overall, I guess it comes down to that, I feel lonely.
I mean yes, I have two best friends in the entire world, plus a superawesome boyfriend.
But, and I wish not to sound greedy, I don't feel complete, not enterily fulfilled.
Or something. I don't even know, to be honest.
It could maybe be I'm so bored with my life, having the same people in it with the same stupid shit, everyday.
Nothing feels new, invigorating, enthralling anymore.
I remember the beginning of High School, I had some shitty points but overall my life was great. I loved it.
But now, nothing's the same anymore. People change with the drama.
So now, I sort of feel like the only one who hasn't. That I'm still who I was a year or two ago.
I just really really hate big changes.
I suppose, that I could really have the same mentality. Like a huge part of my mind is stuck back then.
Like, I'm still convincing myself of things I did then. For instance, how Ben shouldn't be with me.
I think about this, and sometimes end up freaking myself out so bad I think I'm going to leave him.
I find myself wondering how can I be like her, because possibly subconsiously he misses her.
Sometimes I feel like the things I'm thinking are so unbeleivably clear, that when no one else sees things like I do I get so fucking frustrated.
Some of these things I KNOW I'm right on, but nobody else thinks so and it pisses me off.
Another thing. I often idolize beauty I cannot have.
I don't feel pretty. I feel rather disproportionate and not to "pretty" standards at all.
BUT that is how I feel, not you, so don't give me any bullshit.
None of that BUT YOU AREEE. Half of you merely say it to make me feel better. That's just how people are.
So no pity on me. No agreements with me. Nothing.
I really don't know exactly how I feel. And that itself is frustrating, cause I can't get the words to match my feelings. And I hate that.
JANUARY 18 2007.
i'm going to do my notecard for history now.
it will be amazing, because I will fail.
and I feel like kicking faces, because I hate people,
and because I'm going to be getting bad grades again and my parents will eat my face and no one will EVER EVER see me again cause I'll be shipped away to some place where they will make me take out my nose ring and not so much eyeliner and worship Jesus while doing math and I will cry.
Prepare your lives to be lived Janetless!
my mother makes me giggle.
Mother: "Don't you think black people have a colourful way of speaking?"
Janet: "I suppose?"
Mother: "I just love listening to them!"
JANUARY 16 2007.
My eyes grew heavy and my lips they could not speak
I tried to get up but I couldn't find my feet
She reassured me with an unfamiliar line
And then she gave to me more summer wine
Ohh-oh-oh summer wine
Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Mmm-mm summer wine
freakin' song. stuck in my head.
I got new shoeeesss today!
They are orange! and swell-like.
And I spent the whole day in Boston, pretty much, after failing my Spanish mid-term and almost aceing my Geometry midterm, with the best boy ever.
We took the train and it was cold so we got soup and ate it. And then sat at the table reading comics for a bit, until my tailbone hurt like fuck.
So we got up, and went to Newbury Comics and Hootenanny. Newbury Comics was first, and we looked at stuff and I got this book on Serial Killers that I found extremely disturbing, yet addictingly intriguing. So I'll be reading that for a while, haha. And I ended up getting the shoes, down at Hootenanny, where they were on sale and you could get another sale item at half-price. So I ended up buying Ben some shoes too. His first converse. How cute. and he got spiffy laces to match them.
Then we went to the bookstore where we sat and read for a good chunk of time. I love bookstores. I just wish I had money to buy books with.
I have an English midterm test tomorrow. So maybe I should study for that. Orrr mayybeee I should read about men than cut women's feet off because they are aroused by shoes. Hmm. Desicions, desicions.
JANUARY 15 2007. SOME MOREE.
I really hate so much right now.
oh gee, isn't that something new?
I remember my brother got me the baby bash cd like, a wicked long time ago for christmas, and I was really happy, but I really ended up only liking three songs on the whole CD. one song made me laugh hysterically, it was so bad. Bad like, perverted bad. I didn't understand half of it, and I remember telling Gina about it.
I feel like spitting words out.
Mean, hatefilled venemous words.
I can't think of anything else.
Which, I suppose is good? Cause lately all I've been doing is ranting and hating and being-sading and talking about it and it gets annoying.
I feel so bad for you if you're reading this.
stop reading my page.
it's so pointless.
OKAY. let's try this one more time.
I hate people. Small doses of certain people are okay sometimes,
but I guess really the overall product of a person sickens me.
I hate the mind; how we comprehend and react.
Thinking about things. In general. It disturbs me.
I hate our bodies; how revolting, dirty, and careless they are.
Just like to touch and be touched. It's pointless. And disgusting. Naked people are not attractive. In fact, nakedness is more gross than sexy. I hate the way it even looks, let alone how it feels.
I hate our actions; they are always destroying.
It seems like just put your finger on it, and it breaks. I'm not one to be a huge enviornmentalist, but seriously people are the reason why animals are dying and cities are polluted. Wonder why Alaska's melting? You.
I hate emotions; they're too confusing and are often deciphered wrong.
I feel pain and don't know why. I feel hurt and sadness when it's not needed. And, possibly jealousy, when I have no one to be jealous of. I hate envying others. I like being me. But still, I'm not satisfied with it. And it irritates me how I feel how I feel sometimes. Because I shouldn't. And I really don't like it when people assume. You don't know shit, until you're informed or unless it's the extreme obvious.
I think that's okay. For now. I wish I could word it better, but I can't.
JANUARY 15 2007.
my nose is stuffy!
i spent friday night at mike's house. which was fun.
Ben came over and ate pizza with me, but he really didn't eat pizza he had something else. A sub-like sandwich.
Nonetheless. I was supposed to go to Danvers, but Gina had called and said "come to my house." so we made arrangements to do so. Ben had told his parents he was going to Urias's house.
Which, ended up getting him in trouble cause he lied. But he got to sleep over Gina's with me one night, so that was fun.
We got here at tenish? maybe? and attempted to go to the mall but it was closed. so we tried the movies. Nothing was playing the hour we arrived. And everything was closing cause it was like, eleven thirty.
jhgfhkuuhhhhhhhhuoy tfu586 5v6 ,k,hgiyktlo99u i'll finish it later.
I'm going to go lie down and watch a movie with gina cause I loooooove her!!
JANUARY 13 2007.
I hate shopping for dresses.
But I've been doing it lately, since I'ved damned myself into going to prom with ass-fats Ben.
We've decided, that I'll be most likely wearing purple, cause Ben said that looks best, and that red isn't my colour. But other than that, it will be a surprise.
HEY I'M AT GINAS HOUSE AND IT'S GONNA BE FUN CAUSE I'M SLEEEEEEPING OVER. BEN IS TOO. BUT WE DON'T LIKE HIM.
HIII GINA I LOOVE YOU!!
JANUARY 11 2007.
I keep coughing today. Maybe my lungs are deflating. Yay!
So, my loves, I've decided to try and stop being lazy, and work on FIB.
Cause I can.
but oh, look, I'm procrastinating now.
When I was walking home today, I saw a woman walking her dogs. So it made me think of wanting to walk my rats.
Just picture that. You're walking down the street, and then all the sudden you see this chick walking her rats. Pretty dang swell, I'd say :]
JANUARY 10 2007.
I need to rant. It's like, if I don't do it every so often, my anger bottles up and then I eat little babies. Which isn't good for the hips.
But I've got nothing to rant about.
okay so that's a lie. I really do have things irritating me at the moment, some making me want to scream, making my already sore throat worse (oo yay!), some making me want to hide under my covers and cry, but I really don't like crying, and then there is a part of me that wants to smile.
Which is kind of freaky.
Cause it's like, I'm so mad, that I'm calm. Peaceful, perhaps. Like because I think so much about things that hurt me that it doesn't hurt me anymore. Or something. It kind of feels like I'm insane. Cause lately, when I got into a fight with someone and we were both really mad at eachother, I wanted to laugh. I felt the laughter bubbling up in my throat. But of course, that wouldn't be a very good idea, to laugh when it's not a time to laugh.
okay well. now that that's out I'm gonna go do something. Like, print your picture off your myspace and scribble a pirate mousatche on it because I simply don't like you.
JANUARY 9 2007.
lately on myspace, all I see is "Miss Jade" "Miss Sarah" etc.
the whole "Miss" thing is irritating me.
I've seen like, 8459435734573485 people with "Miss" in their myspace names, such as "Miss Janet."
And brackets? wtf? seriously. Janet [Doesn't Give a Shit].
LATER ON JANUARY 8..
Ben Morse is mine.
and you can't have him.
JANUARY 8 2007.
I went bowling today. Hot Dog it was fun!
Though really I suck at it and I got like, thirty something points, and Ben, the stupid jerk, won, with freakin' 69 points. I could smack him.
But all in all it was really dandy. I wanna go bowling again.
And then after than we didn't really do much. I fell asleep on Ben's lap when we got to my house, and we were talking, and I rested my head and ended up falling asleep and he woke me up for dinner. Then we left after he did my homework and we smoked insence, which is true kiddies, we went out for a fun little drive. I brought my black quilt, and ended up falling asleep. again.
I sleep too much. But I suppose that's okay.
I really want to take forensics or however you spell it next year. And I'm probably going to start looking at colleges majoring in english, even though I'm really not graduating yet. or something.
I hate school. plain and simple.
I need a new song on my myspace. Nothing satisfies my ears as well as I'd like it to.
I'm dying my hair black tomorrow. And then later on in life, I'm adding orange to it. Sweet, isn't it? yes. indeed.
AND FREAKIN LOOK AT THIS!! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING. ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE BAWLS!
JANUARY 7. AGAIN.
please let me start this off with I DO NOT WANT YOUR DAMN SYMPATHY.
DON'T YOU DARE click the reply to poser button.
I WILL IGNORE IT.
cause when I say DON'T DO IT, well it means just that.
I post this, because I need to clear up my own head. In fact, I do not give a rat's ass if you read this at all. I never said you had to.
I've really grown to not be able to stomach anything about myself at all.
I hate how I deal with things.
I hate how I cry at unnessicary times.
I hate how I look. I want to rip my face off.
I hate fighting. So maybe now I'm not fighting with anyone but I just don't like it.
I hate how I'm living. How things are turning out.
I simply have too much hate. For so much. For things I shouldn't even hate, because they really aren't mine to hate. But I do it anyways.
How at this moment, I wish to do nothing but throw some panties in a pillow case and leave.
Right out my bedroom window.
Maybe I will. I hear things in Alaska are nice.
Part of me really really wants to go start over.
New town, new name, new life.
But letting go hurts too much.
JANUARY 7 2007.
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question
What does your love life look like?
It's Gotta Be You [Backstreet Boys]
What do I say when life gets hard?
Royally Fucked [Mindless Self Indulgence]
What do I think of when I get up in the morning?
Solitary Man [HIM]
What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Beneath The Blue [The 69 Eyes]
What do you want as a career?
Dark Sekret Love [HIM]
Your favorite saying?
Blue Orchid [The White Stripes]
Helena [My Chemical Romance]
What do you think of your parents?
Don't Stay [Linkin Park]
Where would you go on a first date?
Five Vicodin Chased With A Shot Of Clarity [Atreyu]
Drug of choice?
Lunacy Fringe [The Used]
Fast & Beautiful [Dope Stars Inc.]
What is the thing I like doing most?
Idiot Music [Zeromancer]
The song that best describes the president?
Die Of A Broken Heart [Zeromancer]
What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Sound Effects and Over Dramatics [The Used]
How will I die?
Kiss Me, I'm Contagious [From First To Last]
The song that will be played at your funeral?
The song you'll put as the subject?
Feel Berlin [The 69 Eyes]
JANUARY 3 2006.
I can't beat this stinkin' level in the spongebob game cause I can't find the green key.
I'm getting offline in like, a few minutes cause I'mma go shower. Then read and maybe do some homework. If I feel like it.
I'm going to fail all midterms. Excited? oh of course.
I had to take out my outer-conch piercing in my right ear cause it got terribly infected and has one of those really annoying bump-things. so once it heals, I'm repiercing it.
and new pictures under heros. yes. you like it.
well now they aren't there. when I finish this bulletin I'll go post them. so yes?
JANUARY 2 2007.
PAUL NO LONGER WORKS AT DUNKIN DONUTS.
SO NOW WHO WILL GINA AND MYSELF GO VISIT AT THREE IN THE MORNING WHEN WE WANT DONUTS AND COFFEE AND THINK WE ARE GOING CAUSE WE HAVE THE MUNCHIES WHEN WE REALLY DON'T WE JUST HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO??
THIS IS SO SAD.
MY HEART BREAKS.
THOUGH, CHRIS IS STILL THERE.
I NEED A WORD WITH THAT MAN.
JANUARY 1 2007.
ben's gonna kill me for this..
..but I do not care!
DECEMBER 31/JANUARY 1
HAPPY NEW YEARS YOU LITTLE SHITS
DECEMBER 29 2006.
I went to Boston today.
I'd love to sit here and type it up but I just don't feel like it.
But it was fun.
I like gloves.
I peed in the parking lot today since I really needed to pee, and then I beat Ben up with my lightsaber thing!
'twas great. I'm cold.
Tomorrow I get to babysit. Ain't that dandy?
well actually now I'm all date-confused so hold on I need to go figure it out...
DECEMBER 28 2006.
I'm rather bored.
I haven't slept at all.
It's just about four am, well 3:55 but that's close enough.
I'm thinking that about five thirtish I'm gonna go to dunkin donuts cause I can.
Maybe I'll take a shower.
cause I'm bored.
I learned a new magic trick. ha.
djfhfbsjhb udgs kgdkjfbghjbg dhfgdfbgdjfhgdf
YAY FOR NO SLEEP.
I was looking at a select few's profiles..
and my god I want to throw up.
geez louise people LEARN TO SPELL.
I hate abbreviations. You're just to damn lazy if you can't spell 'you' and insist upon using 'U'
And for god sakes, use an S and the end of plural words, not a freakin' Z.
They're two different letters. 'WORDS' is not 'WORDZZZZZZ.'
And my goodness why on earth would you want to call your friends those disgusting marshmellow animals given on easter?
A peep is a marshmellow (or a parasite according to one book:])
NOT A PERSON.
DECEMBER 27 2006.
I've decided tomorrow I wish to romp around Boston.
Anybody wanna come?
mice and rats seem to fancy my clevage.
they go there a lot.
DECEMBER 26 2006.
I hate it when you somehow push in the sides of the soda bottles and it makes a loud obnoxious pop when it de-crinkles itself.
AND AND when your stinkin (but still cute) mice and/or rats snoggle their noses around the shavings and knock 'em out of the cage and get it all over your rug ten minutes after you vaccumed the shavings previously there.
I saw Happy Feet today. 'sright. Yous be jealous. It was cute. I liked the little baby penguins. They made me smile. And when I went into the bathroom cause Ben went into the bathroom and I had nothing else to do and thereforth decided to reapply my makeup some creepy little girl was watching me. I giggled with delight. I find it entertaining when kiddies stare at me.
GEEZ LOUISE I am REALLY bored. Freakin' 1:43 in the morning and I've got nothing to do. WTF. Normally I'd have plenty to do at such an hour. Okay so I really do have something to do, but because it involves cleaning, I really have no desire in doing it.
HEY HEY I made these potato-ravioli thingies that were really good at first but then after a bite or two it didn't appeal to me anymore so I just gave it to Madamoiselle and Lola. They are beasts, they are. and of course saved a wee piece for Squints and Fattie.
They got a new cage. It's swell. Really is. Rather Xtreme, so I should say. I had absolutely no clue how to put it together, so Ben did it. Being the man he says he is (I scoff at such news.) he needed no instructions.
Okay I'm done. You can all return to your normal lives now.
DECEMBER 25 2006.
wheee hoo merry christmas, skankities!
Hope yours was as swell as mine.
I got some neat-o stuff. yep. I'll be prancing around in it weeks after the holiday has died.
That is what saddens me so about christmas, is I love all the excitement and such weeks before and then on christmas morning BLAM it just dies.
I had my FIRST EVER date.
haha. yes. you are.
Ben, who is the most amazing person ever, took me to Bertucchi's.
He got ravioli, and was cutting them in half, and so I just took a whole one and shoved it in my mouth cause I could.
you probably have realized by now I got really bored of the christmasy theme on my myspace, so I redid it.
It'll be christmasy again, soon enough.
steal my song, I'll kick you in the ovaries.
and speaking of, Sam Slut Berg gave me a bruise on my you-know-what cause he decided to kick me there. really hard.
I gave him a titty twister back.
DECEMBER 12 2006.
If you don't remember the puzzle place,
you're freakin' stupid.
(And I'm not insane. It was real!!)
Ben Olafson, Jody Silver, Nuzzle, Sizzle, Skye Nakaiye, Kiki Flores, Julie Woo!
Yep, those crazy puppet kids, and dog and cat.
Well they weren't crazy but they were cool!
Yeah, I miss that show.
I wanna watch it. I'll go buy it one day on VHS, and you will envy me!
LATER THAT DAY ON DECEMBER 10..
Janet is grounded.
no computer for a week (I'm sneaking now)
I must be home at five thirty every day
and cannot leave. and no visitors.
at least until my homework is done, and to her satisfaction.
now, I am one immensely pissed child.
do not ask what's wrong.
it doesn't concern you.
I'm merely stating I'd like you to please fuck off for a bit,
until I can figure things out.
DECEMBER 10 2006.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLIE ZOE CROSBO!
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...
stop being immature, and get some fucking balls to say shit to my face.
you know I hate it when you hide things,
and what you did just completely crossed the line.
I honestly feel like I have lost so much respect and trust in you,
because it seems you honestly feel like you can't tell me how you feel to my face. I don't fucking care if it will hurt or offend me, it does that much more when I find out second hand.
Would you like me to fucking apologize? I realize I do have things to apologize for, but most of it is things I should have no reason to. I've already apologized for those things, countless times. I wouldn't say I'm sorry if I didn't fucking mean it. Now go ahead and tell me my words mean shit. I fucking dare you. Just don't fucking complain about these stupid things. Apparently I do mean it, otherwise I wouldn't be so upset over it. If you meant nothing to me as you seem to fucking assume that I do, I wouldn't be sitting here, typing this out. I've tried so hard to get you to understand, so stop fucking complaining how I've given absolutely nothing.
Well now, it seems I should go fucking get my reality check, because I'm the one who decided to get off my ass and do something with my life. Sorry everything couldn't revolve around you, and that I'm wasting time I could be with you over some fucking "boy."
this is fucking ridiculous.
DECEMBER 9 2006.
so me having nothing else to do on this boring saturday evening,
decided to go watch the Perfect Skin music video.
which arouses two emotions in me.
one, pure fucking excitement, cause I'm going to see them in a month! which means, I get to see those freaking beautiful men! squee!
and secondly, and the reason why I'm saying not fair, IS CAUSE THE STUPID BLONDE BITCH IN THE MUSIC VIDEO GETS TO ROLL AROUND IN A PRETTY BED WITH A TOPLESS JYRKI.
I just sneezed!
and both times sounded different!
DECEMBER 8 2006.
I LEFT MY IPOD AT VOHN JEG'S AND I REALLY WANT I RIGHT NOW.
DECEMBER 7 2006.
why won't people ever fucking learn?
I only ask for you to do two things.
don't lie and don't hide things from me.
I hate it.
If you have something to say, fucking say it.
If I hurt you, tell me. If I in any way do something that you don't like, tell me. Just don't keep things from me.
I'm not saying I'm always going to find out, but more often than not I'll figure it out, and finding out you lied/hid something would hurt me a whole lot more than coming out with the blunt truth.
I don't want to necessairly say I'd be living a lie. But how else to word it when people, not just any people mind you, don't tell you how the feel? Or they say one thing but don't support it?
If you have a problem concerning me, say it.
I'm not going to hate you for it. I'll respect you even more, even if what you tell me angers or hurts me. I can get over it. I don't hold grudges, for the most part.
I don't want to keep saying this over and over. You all apparently don't understand, because you continously do it.
I'm sorry I live my life however I live it.
Can't say I'm proud of everything in it, but I'd be lying if I said my life hasn't gotten better.
It has, in some ways. Some things have gone a bit downhill, but I'm working my ass off to fix it. I'm not asking for a perfect life, I'm really content with what I've got now, I just don't want to loose one thing because I've gained another. I really want both things, because they mean a lot to me and, at the risk of sounding emo, loosing them would completely tear my heart apart.
But it really gets difficult handling both, especially when one is so far away. There isn't much you can do about it when you can't drive.
Well I'm done with this stupid bulletin. I'm not apologizing this time because I don't think I need to. I've already done that, and for this exact problem several times. I don't want to anymore if it's going to fall on deaf ears.
DECEMBER 6 2006.
Jesse smelled good today.
I gave him a hug and stuff.
I've got three or four new photographs under heros..
I don't remember the number exactly.
but anyways, they're sweet. cause me and sarah have no lives:]
my mummy's making potatoes. I want some.
And I wanna take a shower and I really have to pee but I am lazy and have no desire in getting up.
okay yeah I'll go do that.
DECEMBER 4 2006. CAUSE I WANT TO FUCKING CONTINUE.
I hate it
when I find myself dwindling (hee funny word:]) on the past.
but it isn't my past,
it's someone else's.
I'm not original enough to have a cool past of my own so I gotta sulk over someone else's.
pretty cool, huh?
well, you're right it really isn't.
I don't even know much about it. sort of. I find myself wanting to know everything about it. I feel like part of me HAS to know it, it's required to my knowledge, otherwise I feel incomplete and that things are being hid from me. But I don't want to know because it really doesn't concern me. I'm afraid it will hurt me somehow, when it in reality has absolutely nothing to do with me. I fear it will hurt what I have now, and I'd absolutely hate for that. And it just isn't my business, and I really don't want to know.
I'm a jealous person, aren't I?
why do I feel like I want to be like someone I'm not? Because I stupidly think I'll feel better about myself? Why would I think such a thing, when I know, I could be anybody else and still not think of myself any differently. How come I think I HAVE to be something else? It won't make me or anybody else feel better. But yet I find myself yearning so much to be like them, to look like them, and have the same mental views as them. Plain and simply, they seem so much better than me.
But they're just another person. I hate people. People are stupid heaps of skin and bones and I have no passion for them at all. The only feelings I do have are only because I am a person. I cannot be a human being and not have emotion. Each person is the same. Of course, there is all that personality shit that no one is the same which is true, but in the end they all really are the same. I'm included in that.
But nonetheless why should I be jealous? I have no reason to be, though I can't just stop myself from feeling it. Feelings don't work like that. As much as I'd like, they don't have off buttons I can press when I don't want to be sad or angry, or lonely or jealous.
I sidetracked so badly just now. I forgot my main reason for this stupid thing. I do that a lot. I just talk too much, trying to get all the annoying explaining out of the way, and completely forget my whole reasoning. Which, bothers me because I want to clear my head of why I'm upset, but then again I'm not looking for pity so there's yet another reason you can't message me asking what's wrong.
And if you do that, I'll throw a fucking spoon at you.
have a nice day:]
DECEMBER 4 2006.
WITH 2006 COMING TO AN END HAVE YOU..
1. Have you had any relationships this year? Jenjamin.
2. Have you had your birthday yet? yes.
3. Cried yet? yes.
4. Been on a diet? attempted.
5. Pulled an all nighter? several times.
6. Drank Starbucks? ben got it.
7. Went Camping? yes.
8. Bought something(s) yes.
9. Met someone special? yes.
10. Been out of state? yes.
11. Gone Snowboarding? no.
12. What are you thinking about? putting the christmas tree in my room.
13. Hugged someone? yes.
14. Slept in someone elses bed? yes.
15. any alchohol? yes.
16. Loaned out money? not much.
17. Gotten in a car accident? not a big one.
18. Gone over your cell phone bill? a little bit.
19. Been called a whore? yeah.
20. Done something you regret? yes.
21. Last Person you hugged? lou.
22. Last Person to call you? ben..
23. When was the last time you felt stupid? today.
24. Who was the last person you danced with? I danced on allie.
25. Who did you last yell at? don't know.
26. What did you do today? went to allie's house and made this kick ass macaroni that everybody ate and watched sleepy hollow and dyed her hair.
01. Hometown? newton.
02. Natural hair color? brunette.
03. Initials? JMH.
04. Hair style? down.
05. Eye color? blue.
06. Height: short.
07. Pets: a dog and two mice.
08. Mood: bored.
09. Where would you rather be? with ben someplace.
10. Last thing you drank? orange juice.
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:
01. Have you ever been in love: I suppose.
02. Do you believe in love? I guess I do.
03. Why did your LAST relationship fail? we weren't the same people anymore.
04. Have you ever been heartbroken: sure.
05. Have you ever broken someone's heart: probably.
06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend? not my best.
07. Have you ever loved someone but never told them? yes.
08. Are you afraid of committment? sort of.
10. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships in your llife? only one.
01. Are you missing someone right now? yes.
02. Are you happy? sure.
03. Are you eating anything? no.
04. Do you like someone right now? love.
DECEMBER 3 2006. CONTINUUEDDD!
I'm going to see the 69 Eyes in January.
I already bought my ticketttt:]
But. I have no one to go with.
So, If you'd like to join me, you may.
Tickets are 22 bucks, 25 at the door if you wanna be a risky fellow.
You can go to strawberries or fye and buy them there, so the website says.
I'M GOING TO SEE THE 69 EYES.
DECEMBER 3 2006.
SO THE 69 EYES AND CRADLE OF FILTH ARE GOING TO BE PLAYING AT THE PALLADIUM
AND IF DON'T GO,
YOU WILL ALL DIE A PAINFULLY HORRIBLE DEATH.
SO LET'S HELP ME SAVE UP MONEY, 'KAY?
NOVEMBER 30 2006.
it doesn't fucking exist.
you aren't pretty. you just look like you, how you are supposed to look.
doesn't mean it's fucking pretty.
but I cannot say I don't find people pretty.
that would be hypocritical of me.
I just don't think there is any such thing as beauty.
because the definition of the very thing seems to vairy among everyone. how can it be there if you don't exactly know what it is?
And why do looks entice jealousy? and anger? hate?
it's all just so stupid.
I don't even know you. and I already know I fucking hate you because I think you have gorgeous eyes or amazing hair or a clear face. I hate you because I want to be you.
And why, god dammit, can I not be complacent with myself?
How come I see endless flaws in me?
The same stupid shit all you attention whores feed to yourselves cause you think people will always retort it.
Those "I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty. I'm fucking obnoxious and annoying." statements that are so freaking annoying.
why does this simple thing that you simple people ignore during your daily lives frustrate me?
you're a person. you have always been and will always be.
I don't even know how this relates to what I wanted to say.
how I feel right now and what this fucked up bulletin says have nothing in common at all.
NOVEMBER 29 2006.
GUESSSS WHAT JANET DID?
..she lost her nose ring!
I have absoultely no idea where it went. I was eating fruit loops and went to itch my nose and it was not there.
so now I must use an earring, which looks ridiculous cause the earrings are much bigger than the nose rings. so. I look like an idiot with an earring in her nose.
NOVEMBER 28 2006.
some people make me wanna puke.
Such as Sam Berg.
who gives my baby the stupid and makes my knuckles bleed.
but I guess he's pretty cool anyway.
I really would like some ginger ale or dr. pepper as of now.
but I can't. life stinks.
mmm wellll. tomorrow I'll be dead. whenever one thing bad happens, a bunch more baddies come along and I'm stuck with this chain of shitty luck. it suckss.
I have to dry my hair. I'm going to do that now.
crappy photoshopping, eh?
well I don't care cause I'm tired and I really put no effort into it!
and cause I have the real thing so ha:]
NOVEMBER 27 2006.
AND P FREAKIN' S
Benjamin is a jerkkkk. (well no not really:])
cause today was the second day in which he walked into my room and I was fast asleep on my bed
and then kissed my forehead which caused me to wake up and call him a complete sketchball
NOVEMBER 26 2006.
tallulah...is my new name-o!
soo yesterday was angie's sweet 16.
buttt before that, I was with Ben, Jackie, and Kevin!
you know I would really like some soup right now but I cannot for there is no vegetarian soup.
this is when I hate being me.
anyways, we went to the guitar center, but then Jackie and I were like pft bye! so we left and went to the mall!
even though I hate malls! woot!
then yes. we go to angie's party.
where, Allie pierces my ear! huzzah!
now I've got six ear piercings, three holes in each side.
annnd ben came over today. and we watched Resident Evil.
yay for zombies.
welll now I'm dying of hunger. so. I'm going to go eat.
we have frosted flakes and fruit loops!
and! new pictures!
I finally decided to stop being one lazy SOB and add more pictures!
it isn't a lot. but hey it's still some sweet ass pictures you know you're going to love cause, hey, let's face it, I've got one neat-o life.
so peek at em and stuff.
NOVEMBER 25 2006.
1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
2. Name four places you've worked or work at?
3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
5. What did you do today?
6. Do you think your old?
7. How fast can you type?
8. Are you afraid of the dark?
9. Eye color?
11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
some time ago.
12. Do you knock on wood?
me and gina knock on cement.
13. Are you drinking anything right now?
15 Can you hula hoop?
16. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
17. What do you want for Christmas?
18. Name a movie you could watch over and over:
Interview with the Vampire. Haggard. The Lost Boys.
19. What did you dream about last night?
20. What are you thinking right now?
21. A movie you watched when you were little?
23. Do you consider yourself successful?
not completely. when it comes to some certain things.
24. What song's in your head right now?
Beautiful - HIM
25. What are you doing next week?
26. Plans for today?
I was supposed to go shopping with Melissa, but I don't know where my father is and Gina was supposed to come down and I don't really know anymore.
27. What's your first & middle name and why?
Janet Marie. Janet, named after my mother's deceased aunt, and Marie, my mother's middle name.
28. Name someplace you've went on vacation?
Florida. it burns.
29. When was the last time you told someone 'I love you'?
30. Last stupid thing you did drunk?
I haven't gotten that drunk.
31. How are you feeling today?
32. Are you black?
blacker than night itself.
33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
34 Have you ever crawled through a window?
36. What's for lunch?
37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
I ate a dog biscuit once.
38. Can you handle the truth?
I can't say I won't like it but I like it better than lies.
39. What did you do last night?
Ben came over. and we watched Interview with the Vampire.
40. Buy anything lately?
41. Any cool scars?
I have one on my left thigh from a marshmallow.
43. how many kids do you want?
44. What do you do when no one is around?
talk to myself.
45. How often do you talk on the phone?
46. Do you talk to yourself?
47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
50. Who did you last hug?
53. What was the last thing you ate?
55. Last movie watched?
Interview with the Vampire
58. Would you ever date anyone on your friends list?
59. What do you fear?
60. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would it be?
NOVEMBER 23 2006.
ONE MONTH. SUCKAAAS.
I LOVE BENJAMIN RICHARD MORSE A WHOLE FUCKING LOT.
NOVEMBER 19 2006.
-When you first meet me I'm a very outgoing person. If I don't like you I'll be sure to let you know. Just dont get on my bad side and everything's all good.
-Music is my life.
-My favorite color is black.
-I hate concieted people and people who act fake, or like they're something they're not or twofaced.
-I was put on this earth to piss people off
-The thing I hate most is people who act like there everything and that they do everything the best.
-The one thing I hate most about school is the drama.
-If you have something to say say it to my face. I'll kick your ass.
-Don't lie to me I hate being lied to.
-I hate everyone. I'm such a bitch, and if I don't like you you'll know.
GROW THE FUCK UP AND GET SOME SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY.
NOVEMBER 17 2006. AGAIN.
tonight I had to wear a stupid dress
and wear stupid high heels
and listen to stupid rap.
I got to go to the semi with Ben.
who is the most amazing person ever.
and I braided his hair and put it in pigtails and stuff
and he looked so freakin' cute.
he's a bunny, too, by the way.
and Say When was there and did all these songs for dancing amusement
and yep. I got stickers. And a poster.
psh what now.
okay well I'm exhausted. so I'm going to read New Moon which is so freakin good I can't take it, then sleep.
NOVEMBER 17 2006.
I hate it.
I hate the feeling where you find yourself clinging to one person,
amused by their every word, every move.
it's like a suffocating feeling,
where you can't fend for yourself anymore.
you opened up too easily, too quickly, and now you can be broken at any time.
their absence hurts you, and you find yourself feeling purposeless and bored without them there.
but you can't help but love it.
because for once, you don't have to think or desire something unattainable. it's already there, just for you.
and it brings quite the satisfaction, too, to know there is that someone who understands you and makes you feel so wanted.
but imagine if they took it all away.
or stopped talking to you
how much it would hurt.
even when they say they never ever would do such a thing
you still have that small fear in the pit of your stomach that tries convincing the rest of you that they will. that they will stop caring, leaving you helpless and alone.
how I don't want to believe it. I truly don't. For once in a great long while I've discovered something I really like.
But why am I so afraid?
NOVEMBER 14 2006.
GUESS WHAT I DOWNLOADED MOTHERFUCKERS!
BY THE 69 MOTHERFREAKIN' EYES.
AND SOME SWELL SPYDER BABY SONGS.
NOVEMBER 10 2006.
my nose is bleeding.
and it tickles a whole bunch.
and typing with one hand while blood is coming out of my nose and all over my hand is rather difficult.
yep. thought i'd share:]
NOVEMBER 9 2006.
I won't say I'm in love.
Hercules pretty much owns.
and you wish you could be as amazing as Benjamin and myself and sit on my freakin' tiny bed and watch that movie on my teenie tv. yep.
and then we got freakin' burger king fries.
oh oh and at George's today, there was this little kid in a purple leotard who wanted two slices of pizza and chocolate milk and kept peeking over the edge of the seat to look at Ben and me.
and I'm making Ben bear me one.
you know, that Benjamin kid is a pretty swell guy.
Even if stingrays come to get him:]
OCTOBER 29 2006.
my fingers are cold
so typing these long amount of words kind of hurts.
so gina just left. we had fun.
i'm uploading now all the pictures we just took on the train tracks.
GTS lemme tell you.
so we went and got chinese food.
but we got slush puppies first.
it was gina's first time and she was all excited.
then we sat in the resturant for a very long time. just sitting. and doing nothing. we are so good at doing that.
fuck sarah's coming. i'll finish it later.
OCTOBER 28 2006.
'specially when gina and ben are over and it's getting dark outside.
we lit candles. and sat on the couch talking.
then ben made a noise like a kitty
and gina got freaked out.
and then ben had to go drop people off at a party. he sad he was gonna come back but it took him a hell of a long time to get here.
so me and gina sat around until the electricity came back on.
then we blasted rendevouz with anus, we want cunt, and such and had dance party and danced all dirty.
then rolled up in the rugs.
then FINALLY ben came back. and so we sat in my room and gina's like "what's this?" and points to my JTHM light.
and so I say "it says JTHM and that's a knife. and it lights up!"
so we go to plug it in my wall then
and the lights go out. again.
only in my room and the living room though.
and ben pretends to be dead.
and it made me LOL (haha gina) really hard even though it wasn't funny.
okay so it was.
and then my dad fixed it and we sat in my room.
where I put fake blood on my hands and tried putting it on ben.
but he wouldn't let me. but I put makeup on him instead.
and we were going to play candy land but got distracted.
'twas my day.
OCTOBER 26 2006.
besides the part where there was cheesy horror movies and root beer.
but other than that.
the little middle schoolers are invading.
phone's being gey.
and I'm really bored and I have nobody to hang out with.
and I'm not even in Natick. cause I have to do "girl's shopping time" with the mother and the mother's friend.
(insert vomiting noise here)
oh and my ipod's gonna die soon. I should charge it.
now you all know my pain and suffering.
suffer with me.
I'm a liar.
I got more cigarettes.
Even though I said I was quitting.
I'm so bad.
So I guess you'll have to slap me and take it away from me if you see me smoking.
Gina's coming over tomorrow.
She get's to stay a whole weekend!
and. my hair is purple again!
well. ish. I don't really know what colour exactly since it's still wet.
but it looks rather purple to me.
aannndddd. I dunno.
I have so much fuckin' homework to do.
I'm going to pretty much not get good grades in every class and it'll be hard to bump them up since grades close quite soon. and I don't know.
My body hurts. I'm sore everywhere. I don't know why.
Maybe this means I'm gonna die soon.
Yay for death!
OCTOBER 25 2006.
okay so after detention today,
and the short hour-or-so I spent outside afterwards,
and how I had to go home and stuff.
well. I made it home on time.
but, I'm getting really sickish so I didn't go out.
with anybody. even though I promised a bunch of people.
I just took a shower and fell asleep.
So I was not ignoring you're phone calls,
nor you're pretty little instant messages.
I was merely asleep. and with such being said,
I'm going to go crawl back into the warmth of my bed and sleep some more.
my tummy really hurts.
OCTOBER 24 2006.
cleaning is no fun.
my new ugly rug is already spotted with makeup.
my hands smell like bleach.
since i had to scrub my dressers since mother says they're dirty.
(they aren't. much.)
my stuff is all smooshed in a corner in my room.
and I can't put them in the places they belong cause the dressers are going to get moved. again.
so my stupid bed will fit. I can't have it against the wall. or i'll get really cold, supposedly.
so I see no point in sitting there cleaning if I can't put anything away.
My room's almost done.
So I'm pretty freakin' happy.
And I'm talking to Gina Michelle on the phone.
She is the coolest of the cool.
She might come down this weekend. And we can all have a party!
I have a detention tomorrow. For a skip I didn't even do.
My mom found out and she was not pleased.
But whatever. I'll find a way to entertain myself. I always do.
And anyways. I'm bored. I don't feel like cleaning stuff anymore.
I've been doing such all day.
So yep. My phone's dead. I have no idea where I put the charger.
And I thought I lost my phone today. I didn't. I'm just an obilvious idiot. But that's okay.
I need to feed Squints and Fatass. cause they love to eat. they're such fat piggies. one day, I'm going to cut out little snouts, ears, and curly-cue tails out of pink construction paper and put it on them.
OCTOBER 22 2006.
so me and el tomas are at the library.
which means you should come hang out with us.
and bring food. kthanks.
I'm sorry I can't fucking make everybody happy.
I'm sorry I do things that are fucking stupid and realize my mistakes after I make them.
God forbid I am only human. I fuck up. A lot. And I can't keep apologizing for everything.
And I know I completely screwed a lot of things up. I realize it is my fault, and I'm trying as hard as I can to right my wrongs. But sometimes, there are some things you can't fix. You can't make them work out, and sometimes they will never be. That's just how life is. The more you are able to accept that, the easier it will be to move on.
The choices I've recently made I've sincerely thought about and I'm going to stick with them. I'm perfectly capable of speaking my mind and standing up for myself. I do not need your help, for if I did I would have asked. I do not want anymore people getting involved than there already are.
I cannot be pigeon-holed, where everything I do or say is something wrong, where I'm left feeling all this guilt simply because I couldn't fullfill your desires. What you want and what I want or two completely different things. We're two entirely different people.
There is too much fucking drama, too much of it all he-said-she-said. Shut up. All of you. And fucking grow up.
August 14 2006.
and some bloody pillows but that's okay!
I could quite possibly be still bleeding.
but nonetheless I have to pass it off as a pimple for the next three years so my mother doesn't kick my ass.
can't wait to see what she's gonna do the day I decide to go through with getting snakebites!
I wish I could show you, but neither of us have a camera. My phone is somewhere in Texas and the fucking nextel company doent seem to be wanting to send it, and Gina has forgotten hers. err.
and tomorrow, I get to be with a bunch of screaming kiddies and sarah! omg yes!
August 12 2006.
old picture. but yes.
I finally got two more updates of In Joy and Sorrow up.
rather excited about that.
I think I have to pee. I'm quite bored. I have the need to do something. I want coffee.
Cover me with kisses, baby
Cover me with love
Roll me in designer sheets
I'll never get enough
Emotions come I don't know why
Cover up love's alibi
Call me on the line
Call me call me any anytime
Call me oh my love
When you're ready we can share the wine..
[Call Me. The 69 Eyes.]
I like music:]
August 11 2006
I'm working on In Joy and Sorrow
August 6 [continued..]
August 1 2006.
So I had the strangest dream. And had the strongest desire to tell everyone about it.
So, Ricky Ullman or whatever-his-name is from Phil Of The Future came over for my birthday.
And my sister was all like OMG!! I GOTTA GET MY PICTURE TAKEN WIFF HIM!!1!
and we were just chillin out with him as if we were best friends.
But then he had to go, and Jussi Vuori came. He gave me a birthday card and I was freakin ecstatic.
Anyways so then he was chillin out at my house, and by this time I don't know what happened to my sister.
But I didn't care, cuz Jussi Vuori was in my house! Talking to me! Lmao.
Then he had to go to Susirock (which was what he said in my dream.) so he said bye and stuff and gave me a hug and yada yada.
But came back in a couple seconds later because he forgot his black laptop. And my mom got all mad at me. She was yelling at me for losing it. I was like "I DIDN'T TOUCH HIS FREAKIN LAPTOP, MA!"
Then for some reason, she held up these underwear and he was like "yeah, those are mine." and he took them and left.
I crawled to the window to watch him leave and he got in this Monster truck thingie with flames down the side. I was thinkin to my self, "hah. cool."
THEN JYRKI LINNANKIVI CAME! And he wanted to go in my room.
I said to him "Uhh okay but it's really messy, just to let ya know." but he didn't care.
He asked me if I had any paints. I said I did. So I gave them to him. And he started painting my walls for me. Little designs, like bats and stuff.
He said something to me like he didn't like my dad. I was just like "..okay."
Then I don't remember what happened afterwards. For some strange reason, I remember me and Joey and Gina in this forest on this hill thing and we saw these foxes and The 69 Eyes came out of nowhere. I think that was before all the birthday stuff happened. I don't remember. But there you go.
July 29, 2006.
I'm about to pee my pants.
July 27, 2006.
so allie came over and we decided to recolor my hair.
(in case you didn't know, allie+janet+hair dye=NOT A GOOD IDEA)
and we dyed my hair blonde.
but that's okay cuz we took the "Atomic Turquoise" hair stuff and poured it on my head.
It came out green. I was sad.
SO, we are going to get MORE bleach,
(the actual stuff, not cheap blonde hair dye)
and dye it "Vampire Red"
I'll get pictures up ASAP.
July 17, 2006.
July 10, 2006.
I'm bored. it's 10:43 and I just attempted to draw a picture but my mind is all wander-y. I chose a new layout, lemme tell you the layouts SUCK. I was looking at em and well psshh they aren't good. I'm trying to make my own, but I seem to be failing. I'm not THAT great at HTML. mmm yesss so anyways, I decided to get my little art gallery going, so I suppose you can go view that. Heh, I seem to high of myself, don't I? ah well, think what you want. I made it for the lack of anything better to do. My foot's asleep.
OOHH YEAH! you shoulda seen me at the beach today. I went with Sarah Flynn, since I was babysitting my siblings and seeing as I don't swim, I wanted someone to sit with me. Well this group of douche-baggy kids who looked thirteen-ish were REALLY pissing me off, and I blew it. I started screaming my lungs out at the little bastards, I think I said something like "YOU LITTLE FUCKERS THROW ANOTHER FUCKING GOLDFISH, AND I WILL FUCKING KICK EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOUR FUCKING ASSES!" then they started laughing, I was ignoring them by that time and I muttered "fucking douches," and one of em goes "did you just call us douches?" "Uhh..yeah I did. You have a fucking problem with it?" "yeah, you homo." Then, as I was about to snatch the brat by his ear, one of the preppy girls they were with told him to "Shut up! Your gonna get all of our asses kicked!!" so they stopped. Though I told Sarah loudly, "If the fucking twats say anything else, they better watch out." Just so they'd know whose boss. I don't take shit from nobody. It was funny. I actually laughed.
JULY 9, 2006
JULY 8, 2006!
July 3, 2006.
So I'm at Gina's. and what a night we had. The little yuppie is sleeping as of now, though any normal human being probably would be at 5:48 am. Unless you have work or something, I don't know. Most I know would be sleeping at this hour. Haha, I'm watchng Jimmy Neutron.. Anyways...onward with my story..I arrive at Gina's, and we spend a few hours using the computer. It's boring shit, I'll get on with it..We decide to go to the plaza but lucky us we get there while the stores are closng. It was effeing sunday, and stores were closing at 6. Except for the dollar tree. That closes at 7. I had to point it out on a sign above a door and had a little argument with Gina and a store guy about it. They didn't see the side I was looking at, henceforth they didn't think it was there. So we end up buying two boxes of washout hair dye (blue for gina, purple for me, though we just ended up dumping both bottles in our hair) and purple nailpolish (which was mine). We spent a total of $2.-something. Then we hightail our tushes over to McDonalds, where we feasted on fries, and Gina, cheeseburger. We came back here, watched a Chucky movie (exciting, I know), uhh then I believe we just stayed n her room until 2:00amish where we decided we wanted Burger King. So whilst Gina fixes her makeup, I take my eyeliner and then drew a heart on my left breast. Don't ask me why, it was just done. She draws one on her as well, then we took a couple pictures. Then we leave. So since BK is right down the street from her house, it didnt take us very long to arrive there. But it was closed. We were sad. But our sadness died when we went to the gas station two buildings down to buy a bunch of food. but our pain was returned when it was closed. we got over the agony by taking pictures with the gas pumps. haha. Soo then we try McDonalds, which was also on the same street a few buildings down. We had to go through the drivethru it being the hour it was. which was late. Then the stupid immigrant man wouldn't give us the food our bellies desired, and we had a little tiff with him until a car pulled up that had ordered their food, and bought us apple pies. (which was what I had wanted, but the guy was stupid and we just ended up with two apple pies.) So I carried that lovely bag over to Dunkin Donuts, next door to McDonalds, and get food there as well. This time, the amazing guy behnd the counter ACTUALLY GOT US WHAT WE WANTED!! gasp!! and we talked with him for a bit. and the other lady in there that was mopping. They were nice. When we left and snuck back into Gina's house, we sat in her room, myself on the laptop her on her computer. And I uploaded the pictures from today whilst she made me a comic story. And then it led up to me, sitting here at 6:11 in the morning, entertaining myself by watching Fairly Odd Parents. I get distracted easily. Mm, I'm hungry. The website needs updating. I'm gonna go do that.
June 24, 2006.
Yeah, yeah, i know I haven't written in forever and a small eternity. please forgive me and shut up. many many things have happened in the amount of time that i havent been on, but it sucks for you because i cant remember any of it. once i do, if i ever, I'll just add it on. then you all can know of me and my amazing whereabouts. anyways, the layout has been changed, the old one was bothering me. and they finally got some new ones. and I'm adding a new page in which my stories will be posted, so you can fill your bored little days with imaginative writing conducted by yours truly. more later.
April 26, 2006
you lucky little darlings, i found another clip from the concert. This one is much shorter and its the intro to Lost Boys, not Devils. It is kinda crappier too, but still somewhat good. You see mostly Jyrki dancing around onstage with the microphone. anyways, enjoy. =] more updates later.
Friday, April 14, 2006.
i know, i know. i havent updated and shit for the longest time. bad me. I was looking through the templates and they just, in general, suck. im working on some new poetry peices, so your impatient little hearts will get to read those soon. I got some new photos, I shall post them below. and, as a bonus, i was able to find a clip of the opening song of the 69 Eyes concert i went to. I didn't film it, seeing as the person who did was more near the back and i was in the front, but anyways I got it from myspace and now you can enjoy the concert (or at least part of it) nearly as much as I did, but seeing as you werent there, you couldnt have possibly enjoyed it as much as myself. okay, here you go:
i went to the most amazing concert ever last night. I saw the 69 Eyes, one of my absolute favorite bands. I went with susie, and we had a killer time there. When we got dropped off and waited in line, and it was cold out mind you, and me and susie were wearing nothing but our handmade band shirts. so we were freezing. as we waited in line to get in the club, we were talking to these two girls, one of the girls's roommates, and some guy and the roommate let us wear his jacket while he quickly went for a beer before the concert. so once we got in, we were able to get extremly close, actually we were in the front row. so close if i leaned just enough, I could touch Jyrki's shoes. so anyways, back to my story, i decided i wanted to get something, seeing as i wanted this to last as long as i could make it. i had susie stay so our spots wouldn't be taken, and i ended up getting a tshirt. i was gonna buy a drum head signed by jussi, but they were sold out. i returned to the spot, and since susie didnt want to get anything, we waited for the show to begin. after the painfully horrible opening bands (okay, i exaggerate, the first band was pretty nifty, the second one sucked.) the finnish gods finally came onstage. the concert was positivly amazing (sorry for my redundace, but it truly was). they are ten times better in person. i had my camera phone with me, so i took thousands of pictures, some of them i posted in this entry for you my darlings =] once, as i lifted my phone to take a picture, Jyrki posed and pointed at the camera just for me. He actually smirked at me several times, and i got a glance or two from Jussi and Timo-Timo. Timo-Timo tossed a pick at susie, but it slipped and she didnt catch it. anyways, after the concert, we both got a drumstick used by Jussi. He went through several sticks whilst onstage, i noticed. but he's a rockstar, and he knowns how to rock hard. well, every joint on me aches since i headbanged and waved my arms and danced, so I'm gonna go finish Dracula, which i started watching earlier today.
hard. well, every joint on me aches since i headbanged and waved my arms and danced, so I'm gonna go finish Dracula, which i started watching earlier today.
[February 18 2006]
so..happy belated valentine's day to you. i actually dont care for valentine's day that much..it's useless. Then again, I don't believe in love, or just have yet to experience it. I'm currently attempting to make my website layout this time. I hate the premade ones. Now that I think about it, I see no purpose in my website, I've always thought of it as a mere sliver in this world of myself, though I've been writing in this stupid journal less and less. I've been thinking of reasons to actually make it worthwhile, and the only things I could really think of was that this is one way I can recollect my past, as much as I hate it, and someplace to keep my poetry, however bad it is. I also thought of just deleting it, but I've grown too attached to this wretched thing, and I couldn't do that. Well aside from my bitching, I've tried to reorganize the site again in hopes of satisfaction. I can't seem to be too pleased with this site for more than a month. well, due to my babysitting, the baby is crying so I've got to attend it's needs.
[January 27 2006]
so i redid the stinking website once again. the music was taking too much space up in my files so i deleted them. plus, i know how much it bugs people when music starts blasting from the speakers. I changed the color to grey. a nice new color. anyway, mostly the only things i did this week was yesterday shawn drove me home..quite the experience. i got the movie haggard and i love it. I'm going to the 69 eyes concert (finally) in march, the tickets are arriving soon. I got a letter from my aussie pen pal, whom i havent talked to in about 5-6 years and i got my first letter from usha. i got tons of new songs for my ipod, mainly HIM and the 69 eyes, and ive been pissed off at people. and thats about it. sound interesting? i know. somehow, my guestbook entries all got deleted. make some new ones =]
[January 10 2006]
well...firstly..since i havent written in such a long while..hope you had a merry christmas. hope you got lots of nice black stuff =]. i myself got an ipod nano and some hottt dvds. now..i gotta save up for those cds i didnt get..anyway, hope you had a lovely new years as well. I went to danvers and hung out with gina, kayla, and her boyfriend shane. i babysat most of the time. hoorah. now back to the present..today was a half day. i didnt plan on it, but sue, allie, mel, jackie, alycia, and kristen all came over and we ordered pizza. we went through photos from when we were little then watched jackass. haha it was fun. anyway, im I'm hoping to get a new load of music and stuff on this stupid website. If you havent already noticed, there is a neww layout. it has cherries =] i am also gonna reaarange most of the pages, as well. there is so much to be done..I'll write tomorrow.
[November 28 2005]
we-he-heelllll....I'm bored..nothing is new. damn. well i'm thinking of putting my song lyrics on my page, since it's right-click protected now. mm. dont know. and i changed some songs around..soo yeah. =]
anyway here is a thrilling game of smashing:
[November 3 2005]
so here i am, at 1:11 AM on friday..waiting for my life to suddnely become interesting. bored as alll hell. So i got my bangs cut. Sue did them. they are sooo short. i miss them. but its time for something new. I'm going to Ginas this weekend and I'll see gina and joey and ryan and bear. I love bear. =] haha okay i gotta write my letter about literature....ttyl <33
here is a game to make you happy :)
[November 2 2005]
okay..first off...HAPPY HALLOWEEN! haha did ya get lots of candy??? I did =] I was Alice in Wonderland..pics in the usual page..okayy so here are the people i went with and what they dressed up as:
ALLIE she was a wingless faerie thing
SUE she was a faerie too
KRISTEN i have no idea what kristen was supposed to be...
MEL a cancan dancer..?
ALYCIA a babyyy
JACKIE a pirate
haha next year me and sue are going to be playboy bunnies...I'll be the blue one so if you see me..say hi! hahaha. well this year i went with the people listed above and we all wentto jackies to get ready..then we went trick or treating..but then kristen didnt have her leg brace and wanted to go back and me, sue, and mel didnt want to go all the way back and then return, so they agreed to meet us at the corner where we stood. but they didnt come. instead they all decided to go to alycias. how rude. soo us three contiunued trick or treating and had lots of funn <33
anyway...new poem..go hunt it down =] aahh i need new music for this retarded site...REAL music that has WORDS! =O and well thats pretty much it. yayy.
[October 27 2005]
Firstly, if you didnt notice you dimwit, I once again chose a new font color. Intoducing, Midnight Blue.
These days, i just dont feel normal. I dont feel like Janet. I used to feel like the one and only, the original Janet. The one who would dye her hair an unnatural color while everyone else chose the ever-so-original black or blonde. The one whose favorite band was one pretty much nobody else she knew heard of. A loud, outspoken one. I was a unique, and individual. But now, all i feel is like cold, hard plastic. I'm just a Janet copy now. Another useless Janet replica. Why, i cant say i know whats driving me to feel this way. But I can tell you i feel as if my ideas have been drained away from me, so all my peers can use them as their own instead. I feel a bit like an overly perfect barbie doll pinned on a shelf for all of humanity to poke and prode at, to steal the ideas of, a nothing propped up high. Funny thing is, I'm nowhere near being as good enough as barbie. I feel flattered my friends like to follow my footsteps, and for once i see the popularity i dreamed of. And check this out-i get the emptiness that goes along with it. Hoorah. I dont feel like me. I feel like the clone, while all my peers are the real Janet. I'm not saying all my friends are imitating everything i do, but it sure as hell feels that way. dont you have a personality? I want mine back. Of course it isnt much, but at least its MINE and i like it just the way it is.
[October 21 2005]
dooode its only ten o clock and im wide awake! lol. so its frriiidayyy and im bored like a board of wood. hahaha. see? im even making stupid puns. thats how bored i am. I put a comic thingie on the janet's stupidity page..finally after weeks of waiting some satisfaction is finally granted!!! whoo hoo!! anyway yesterday i stayed after with sue and allie and alycia and we used a Ouija (pronounced weegie lmao) Board and according to it, I'm gonna be morbidly fat and wind up alone with a bucha kitties and since that seemed like a pretty pointless life, i asked if i should just commit suicide to get it done and over with and it said no, so i asked what was the purpouse of my life. it said VQS. and im going to die when im 78. I asked how i was gonna die and it said the whizm (wtf?). haha so im gonna have a pretty exciting life. well, thats about all i have to say. so interesting, isnt it? haha i thought so. well...to simply put it since there pretty much isnt anyother way, bye!!
[October 15 2005]
its later in the day. and im still bored. in fact, this is how i am feeling this moment:
thank you for asking =)
whats cool is that the blinking things i've posted on my journal are slowly working again!! YESS!!
ok i g2g bbl
[October 15 2005]
I'm in danvers as of now and ready to bite the next person whom comes near me's head off. so be warned. i was supposed to go to ginas BUTT with my lucky luck something always has to happen to prevent me from living my life. damn you and such...
I thought they were cool. and they are keeping me amused. i have nooooooooo idea if you can see em though. poor you. go cry about it now because i dont care. umm well there really isnt much more for me to write about because my life has nothing fun happening to it..sooo im leaving you. yup, right now. byee <333 !!!!
[October 12 2005]
sorry i havent written in so long. i just kinda forgot about it...lol. i dont know why, but the darned animations wont work!! i can see them working perfectly fine as i type this but somereason or another it just wont work...rawr...angers me..anyway I have like, five comics for the new page but i dont have a scanner so i cant upload them. grrr. I need to start the script for the movie (more details on TpC page) and work on tpc pre-k. and you know what? this purple is quite pretty and all, but i need it to change. otherwise i'll shove knives down your throat cuz it will annoy me so much. oh yes, I love my website viewers =P so TADA! this shall be the new color!! yay. wallow in its newness. I already did so much updating and reorganizing on this page, the poor journal font needs a little facelift as well. so enjoy it. also...new photos in the pics page!!! go see em! well i have much to do..so i'll end here.
[September 9 2005]
ok well firstly, the seventh of september was the first birthday of my babbyy girl maddison!! shes my effen awesome neice. so happy birthday to her =) well anyway, im in danvers with kayla whos passed out on the couch..and i gorged a bag of mini muffins. oh yum. and my poor poor dog has a cone. she kinda looks like a lion with a clear plastic maine. hehehe. but its also sad because its a cone, think of the miserableness!!! she has it so she wont bite her stitches, which she has seven of, cuz she was attacked by some sort of animal and had a huge gash on her front right leg. also, she has an ear infection, a small shaved square cuz of a small bite on her back, and another shaved square on her left front leg where five shots were injected. isnt that sad?
animated rudy!! [rudy is the name of my dog fyi]
well i began skateboarding today. its jacob's $5 skateboard but it works fine [except for this ugly anime guy on it] and im gonna borrow it. i'm working on turning. i've been practicing alot. yay. i met kaylas frined Zac today. he was pretty cool. we all went to a school football game since kris's house is right down the street, literally. so i had fun. ok well i got to go, so enjoy the dancing carrots until next entry =P
[September 4 2005]
aww dont you love my hedgehog raplhie?? click on him to play with him =)
|adopt your own virtual pet!|
[September 2 2005]
ahh im sooo sorry my website is in such a clutter. i'm doing more touchups...i guess i can never be satisified with it. its all minor things though, like editing the page titles and that kinda stuff. i was thinking of recoloring the font of my journal entries. hmm. i also thought about making a poll page for things i need help deciding on. i think if i get your opinion on things, my site might look a bit better. =) i also have a few writings i am working on, so be sure to stay tuned for those once i get some time to finish and add them. which reminds me, i still have to finish the navigation bits on that page. i was also thinking of putting some bits of my artwork in the pics section..they arent very good, though.
anyways im not doing so great. on the first day of school i looked like trash cuz my jeans are messed up. the second day was a little better. i couldnt open my locker though so i lugged my bag with me every where. and also, i cant believe you guys at tpc. all you ever do is cause massive tangles of lies and rumors and your too stupid to own up to it. i especailly am annoyed at vinny for lying to gina about the chair. and all the boys are horny bastards whom only care about whores. and to top it off i know im nothing to the someone i really care about.
[August 29 2005]
doooodde!! today i returned from TpC and i had a super dooper time there =P i went up with the amazing kayla and i hung out with pretty much stephanie and kaylea for the first few hours cuz nobody loves me =( but later on i was with everyone and we all had fun. except i forget what we did. hmm lemme see if i can remember and what i do, I'll post but i garuntee it probably wont be in order. ok here i go:
me kaylea and stephanie watched mean girls....but i came back to them because adam and gina were giving me bullcrap about liking ryan [which i dont] so i left them. they were at the veiw smoking with patrick and i got mad. i remember before that i was playing with ginas makeup i musta looked likea turd...umm then kaylea and stephanie decided to get ready for halloween cuz it was halloween weekend. so i left and i went to kaylas since her mom was watching me and i checked in and i believe a buncha people were at ginas and kaylas so i stuck around. i remember that night became helllll though and something i cannot mention in the veiw of public eyes and i cried. i also member today me, markey, ryan, joey and kayla went to pow wow and we had fun..except ryan and joey ruined that fun when ryan asked me what was on my arm and i said it was nothing cuz it was nothing... and so yeahh nothing was very fun. oh yeahhh also i was with gina cuz earlier we were at pow wow and we went in search for adam who was hanging aroudn the ugly whore ariah or however you spell it and we went to the horseshoe pits where a buncha people were. and i became an autograph book. yayyy!! we played tic tac toe on kaylea too...lol. then we were all just chillin but then me kaylea and gina went into the girls room and then everything just dawned on me and i began crying [partly cuz joey picked me up and said "hey andrew this is for you" and andrew said "EW i dont want that thing" and i was dating andrew and long story..] and we went to ginas but i was still upset and the two people who casued the whole dilemma were there so i stayed at a rock and andrew came over but i couldnt tell him. and i also remember me, mellissa, brittany, ryan, markey, joey, gina, kayla and i think thats it and we were giving candy to little trickortreaters =). but we ate alotta the candy. and there was a dance which was kinda cool...nothing interesting and there was a haunted house and some of my friends dressed up in it..it was cool me and gina continuosely went through...and patrick pretended to cut his wrist and he used a blood capsule and i was wicked scared..which remindes me when sarah brutally attacked patrick..hehehe...HEY and then that led to me and gina going to pow wow which led to us hunting down adam...anyway we went on a haunted hayride but it sucked. and there was a hayride earlier but i jumped off hehehe. hmm and thats pretty much it....besides somethings i wish i could tell but i cant otherwise the someone will know i like him...aww it sucks. welll ok im gonna go do stuff...bye!
[August 22 2005]
daannnnggg im bored. i should be going to the movies with the amazing amanda today. now that i look at past entries, the way i typed stuff was reallly stupid. but that happens to be the result of no life.
wooot!!! hes cute wooo anime smilies! [i hate anime =/]
hmm so i think im going to move the clothes i actually wear into my closet and re organize my whole room. it needs a purdy makeover. soo i think thats what im gonna do. so feel free to give me a call!!
[August 12 2005]
hmm I havent been here in a whilleee =P I've been soo busy going to tpc, maine, updating my myspace and being a turdd at ginas. i saw a moose in maine, and you know i like mooses. i went to the mall on the 8th with gina and ryan and joey. but before that we went to the movies nn saw dukes of hazzard. anyway the mall was fun dispite joey and ryan being mean to me (hehehe). somehow they always seemed to have found me and gina [we split up..joey n ryan and me n gina...] which was rather creepy. and i spat sprite in ryans face but he deserved it. umm soo i changed the music [again] it is now all that ive got by...THE USED! Hooorahh! i changed the music in some other pages, but im thinkin bout taking out the music. hmm. tell me what you think. i got some new piccsss...some are already in the online album nn some i gotta upload. speaking of pics, im puttin together a photo album now. hooplah. it's gonna take me centuries to get it done. grarg. soo halloween is commin up soooonn...whatcha gonna be? I am either gonna be a faeire with gina or im gonna be Lola Goth [the girl on the lola goth perfume box]. but i dunno. maybe i'll be janet. hehehe.
[July 26 2005]
lol i found it amusing
[July 26 2005]
today i just returned from TpC...=P and if you havent noticed yet, my little dollie dimples, I reorganized my hawt journal so that now the newest entry as at the top of the page. i think it makes more sense. but you all know me and my Fricked ways. so0 where to begin? i went just as a casual visit with my mums and kris. but...it was also a surprise!! so we go there blahblah and i pop my little self (surprising i just called myself little....) in Gina Michelles trailer and gave Joe a hug cuz i love that guy and i said hi to Marie too then i smooshed gina who was sleeping still. then joey came back to the site and he commanded i follow him so i did and we went to the pavilion and we first saw ryan and joey goes "LOOK WHOS UP!" and hes like "that would be...." so i said "HHIII RYAN!!" and joey goes "its janet" and hes like "umm ok w/e" and i see katie, andrew, britney, tami, kaylea and some people i dont know. so we all hug and are like "AwW good to see you!" and such. after a few moments there i go back to gina and kaylas and were like "yahhh" then i forget what happened but i remember going back to the pavilion and chasing kaylea who was sad and joey and austin followed and we all went to ginas where me, gina, kaylea, joey and austin put a nightmare on elm street on and were all like "Bleeahhh" So i pull my paints out and give myself a silver nose, whiskers and black kitty ears and joey gives me this hitler moustache and goatee and austin did this thingy around my eyes and then we painted everyone elses face. then they were gonna paint my body but i freaked and inteaed we took bikes, joey by himself, ryan pegging Kaylea, and austin pegging me and we went over towards the volleyball net and kaylea fell off the bike and then ryan ditched us and then we played king of the hill with andrew who happend to be nearby and that was fun then we went into the pool area (by this time austin ditched us..i know im including every detail...im just overly bored) and i refused to go in and i had thrown my bracelet in the water to amuse joey and andrew and they wouldnt give it back and kept trying to push me in but i wouldnt let them (im supersmart...=P) but i was stupid enough to lean over the ladder in efforts of retreving my bracelet and they attacked me and i got dragged in. after our little pool rampage (and getting ditched by andrew and joey) me kaylea and her friends went to gina where i changed then i forget what happened next. but i do recall later being in the feild with my video camera and attacking joey and andrew was sort of hanging with us but hes too busy drooling over tami to have fun with ME im jk. its his gf hes got every right to be with her. then me and gina stayed with katie while everyone went to tamis (I dont get it....cuz shes rich and pretty all the sudden shes popular. im telling you it just annoyes me off everyones obbssed with her!! its always "ooh tami site this, everyones at tamis, blahblah tamis" grrrr) and we walked for a few but she needed the bathrooms so we went to her site and she fell asleep. then the next day me and kayla plotted ways to wake gina who didnt seem to wakeup and drew and did laziness stuff. then i saw vinny and austin (and lucki me i looked like a dork in pink pajama pants and a huge marthas vineyard tshirt) then i went home. the end. whOO. now go forth and become a happy cabbage (a devious line created by jhonen v)
[July 19 2005]
ackkkk...bored as everrr...buttttt me and kayla are gonna learn to skateboard!! =P how hott is that? my mom is gonna bid on a skateboard on ebay for me, bam margera stlye Of Course!! lol well now im working on a tpc video..ive got 4 more to go aahh. it'll be ok though cuz im only going to tpc with gina 2x more for the remainder of my life. im not a big fan of that place. oh well. so today my dad bought me a hott fan. its all standy uppy and its cool. hehe who0o. sarah mcginley just immed me which is rather weird cuz she hasnt talked to me in ages.
[July 18 2005]
I'm boredd as hell...I just remodleled my whole site!!! its all purdy now. it took me a loong time, too. but i got it. If you happen to be as bored as me, I reccommend you watch Salad Fingers:
http://fat-pie.com/salad.htm (episode 1) ***spoons***
http://fat-pie.com/salad2.htm (episode 2) ***friends***
http://fat-pie.com/salad3.htm (episode 3) ***nettles***
http://fat-pie.com/salad4.htm (episode 4) ***cage***
http://fat-pie.com/salad5.htm (episode 5) ***picnic***
they are rather disturbing but quite funny. Props to Amanda who showed me. Well, I am gonna go make more TpC videos....
PS I know they are the same date but the first one was like 1 am and the other is 5 pm so yeahhh
[July 18 2005]
two days ago was the aniversary of ABS which kinda depresses me cuz its been a year since i got [ this is my private business. shame on you!!] ....=( arent i patheic? and now this is the last season of Viva La Bam even though 5 seasons is alot. and he might become a father but i heard him and jenn broke up...i dunno. bam is just so gorgeous and it sucks im wayyy underage for him...boo...and right now i feel utterly depressed and i need someone to give me a hug cuz im not doing so good....
[July 12 2005]
ok so today Ashlyn is sleeping over and she should be here any second. so anyway im blasting MCR on ITunes. yay. I cleaned my room, partly. I had dumped my backpack of clothes on the floor a few days ago after returning from Danvers. today i finally got around to shoving it all into the closet. i'll put them in the right spot later. well today i went to dug pond with my sister, bro and mom. I saw catie robinson there, and we chilled. we did some back dives off the dock, then we swam to the floating dock. we played dock tag with some other people there. it was sooo cool. then i came back home and went back later in the wonderous day. ashlyn was supposed to come but she didnt. anyway there i went with leah on the dock and i did more dives both front and back. but then there was an emergency cuz some kid wanted to touch the bottom of the floating dock and he didnt come back up. no one was allowed in the water for a while. i dunno if it was a prank or not. oh well. well anyway ashlyn is here so im leaving to have fun with her!! and tomorrow im going to her house! woot!!
[July 4 2005]
So today I chilled with Chelsey and Kim. We were downtown watching a parade, and there was this box of squishy spiky balls. I bought one since Kim would take one out and play with it every time we went by it. so after convincing her mom that staying at the parade was boring, we went to this lake where her uncle took us tubing. it was reallllllyyy fun. I went with Chelsey cuz I didnt want to go by myself. we spent the rest of the day there, swimming, eating cheez its and watermelon, drinking ice tea and attempting to play volley ball and tennis. oh, and we caught some fish, too. The first two we took on the boat with us to the tubing spot and dumped them as we drove through a tunnel. The other two we later found near shore after eating and put them in the tube. I named them, Bob and Little Moe, and Moe dissapeared. We think he died by getting smooshed in the tube, but its unknown. Then we dragged the tube over to the other side of the lake and we used it as a raft to jump off and do flips and stuff. and that was about it. we went home, yada yada. I'm going to paint now. so whatever
[July 2 2005]
so yesterday me n allie n gina n kayla all went to sixflags. but before that, gina and kayla slept over and it was madd fun. we were complete retards and whatnot. nonetheless, we stayed up really late eating food and watching viva la bam. we had a very kewel night. then allie came over in the morning and we left to go to six flags. first we all went on the thunderbolt, then me and kayla went on the starblaster. after that we all went on poision ivys tangled train. gina screamed like a lunatic on that one, and it was probably the mose pitiful roller coaster there. then me and kayla went on batman and gina got mad at us cuz we didnt wait for her, only because she accused me of putting her soda down and leaving it on a cart. actually, i gave it to her and we were looking at these necklaces and she wanted a different one so she put it down and began attempting to convince the cart guy to let her get her grain of rice put into a different jar. so then me and kayla went on superman. we couldnt find gina and allie so we went on it again a few more times. once we got stuck, and we didnt tell them we were going again so we thought they'd get pretty mad at us for not being able to find them so we rode it again. while we sat there i really wanted my sprite so i was screaming at the lady to get it for me. she didnt listen. then we walked around and me and gina decided to get our charactirs or whatever thier called. kayla went on superman again while her and allie waited for us. then me n gina went on the mind eraser, and the whole time we were both screaming at the top of our lungs. it felt like my legs were going to get chopped off by the poles. we then went into the water park, but we didnt have our bathing suits and it was hot out. gina badly wanted to go on a water ride, but we were nearing leaving-time so nobody else wanted to do so. we got lost in the water section, but made it out and all of us went on batman. gina and allie didnt like roller coasters and allie was freaking out on batman. but now she loves it.so we left. and allie slept over. we read this list of random racts and whatnot.
[June 29, 2005]
oMg!! I DID IT!!! I made honor roll!! I gots my report card yesterday. I hid it under the rug on the steps so nobody would find it, while my parents ate dinner. When I left the room I pulled it out and snuck into my room and I freaked out I was so happy I didn°Įt get a C!!! my mom was a little annoyed I hid it. I told her it was cuz I wanted to see it firsttt. Anyways, I went to the mall the other day with mel, natalia, allie n Jackie. Me allie and Jackie spent a total of eight hours there, the other people sorta left. well i am one starving person so i am going to go eat!
[June 26 2005]
The AC is on and its [FrEeZiNg] beyond all belief. And I just choked on my elastic again. Which means now the back of my throat hurts. So yesterday I came home from NH after spendin the l0vely weekend with Ashlyn, who kept calling Travis, and she broke a robyn egg and we mutalized a trailer and chased fireflies. Then when I came home yesterday, I went to the mall and got an awesome shirt. Ok well besides the fact I'm babysitting I have nothing else to say and am going to end it here. So I'll leave you the choice of imming me [P u P p Y j H/xJanet Bunnyx/AmAndAs MooSe] or leaving something in the guestbook. You know you wanna =P
[June 22 2005]
whoo hoo no more school until september! I'm offically a freshman! =P however right now, I cant stand my sister. If killing was legal, she'd be dead. I want to shove a screwdriver right through her thick head. Anyway, we got year books two days ago. Amanda is a big fat meanie, for three things (she knows what i mean). But I got VL's signature AND Tnater called me CUTE! so har! Well I need a new sn so i think I'm going to go make one. bye.
[June 18 2005]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GINA!!!
[June 16 2005]
First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH! Now, I am really bored. I've got nothing to do, pretty much. As of now as I do homework and talk to nobody online, I wear purple fuzzy bunny ears. =P My friend Gina might be spending the summer with me. Which will be cool, cuz she's outta town and whatnot. But it also means I won't get to hook up with Amanda, who's not going to my school after this year. I think she's leaving for a year then coming back. I hope so, because I'll be totally lost without her. I am just a huge loser at school and everyone pretty much detests my guts. So, therefore I get pretty lonely and it hurts even more that no one really cares. For example, on my bus, there is all "popular" -i guess you can put it- people, only me and someother girl are not that welcome into that category. I just want for this one hott guy on my bus to look over and at least say hi or something. I'm not saying I want to be popular because I'm not that preppy, all I'm saying is I just wish I had friends. The people I currently call "friends" are more like mere aquantinces, people I only talk to during school hours. But now I'm going to shut up because my unsocial life is going to bore you and I don't want people thinking I'm weak and hopeless. And my school day sucked so I'm not going to bother posting it. This message is long enough. Besides, I got to run over to Emily's and pick up some clothes for the dinner dance tonight.
[June 10 2005]
how hott is it that today is my birthday! and who is sitting next to me whatching me type? SARAH! yay! shes sooooo cool and we are spendin one spiffi weekend together! so har! look at all the cute smiey blobs in the shape of animals! (I like the bunny and sarah likes the doggy with the bone!) Lookie, its Janet's Pet Shop! Adopt one of the cutest pets in the whole wide world!!!
ok so u wanna haer about my snazzy day? well, firstly sarah and emily posted purty signs everywhere (my locker was easy to find today...) and sarah got me a cuuuuttte kitty book (she gave me a puppy book last year) and some nummy lipgloss! allie,kristen,alycia,mel, n jackie got me viva la bam seasons 2 & 3 on DVD complete with a matching beanie and a wooden evil kitty from shannon. she gave me $10 buckaroos too. heheheh. ok well me n sarah are gonna go have fun! yay! so i'll write more later! bye!
[May 22 2005]
I changed the font so now it is Verdana. I also changed the color. Now it is dark orchid. How lovely. Well, this weekend I was supposed to go to TpC with Kayla but poor her got in trouble so that was cancelled. So on Friday night I was all bymyself having a one-person party. With imaginary tostios. Anyway I called Gina's cell phone and she was at TpC, and oh boy did my old friends seem joyus to hear from me (sarcasm, people). we only talked for .05 seconds due to the stinky reception up there. So having nothing else to do I finished Robyn's copy of TpC Memoir and made a list of people whom I need to buy blank tapes for to make their copies. Me and Tyler are thinking of making a Friendly Beaver version, but it wouldnt be as good so why bother. Then the next morning I babysat until 2 when my dad came home and we went to Danvers to visit Kristene and so my dad could paint her newly constructed bedroom. I watched nickelodeon until 6:30 when me and Kris went to the mall and i got new shoes. They are Adios, Bam version. My etnies have a hole in them so they werent any good. And Gina said she'd give me some old adidases, which would be nice but she dosent have to if she dosent want to anymore.and we bought my mom a birthday present. then we went home, I ate some spaghettios and watched TV until 2 am. I was watching nickelodeon again, but it was Nick 2 i think and it had old cartoons like Invader Zim and Kablam and whatnot. then the next morning, I ate a doughnut and played with the kitty and sandy (kris's dog) and rudy (my dog) then i went home. nothing interesting happens at my house so i wont bore you further and go into details. thats it. The End.
[May 15 2005]
today my bro came over for his birthday, though the actual birthdate is tomorrow. I made him a card and I'm so proud of myself cuz I worked realllly hard on it. Amanda helped, too. I gave him some of that new Adidas cologne. It smells sooo awesome! I sprayed some on my sweater and i keep sniffing it cuz it smells good. lol. well my weekend sucked. oh well. and i feel horrible for adam, i want to bawl my eyes out because i feel so rotten. i dont think he quite wants to talk to me anymore. besides, i hate friendly beaver and i dont think i can handle going to tuxbury pond for visits with gina. I'll just collapse at the thought of all those memories. I dont need to let them go, I love these memories, but somehow i just cry at the fact its done and over with. I just want to scream, I'm getting lost in myself. Things were so much better, I healed before but now im getting all torn open again and all I really want is a friend.
whoo on friday the sixth i went to six flags! me n amanda (THE bestest person ever!) watched movies on the bus and won lots and lots of prizes! yay! and rode lots of rides! i went on superman and batman, but amanda dosent like roller coasters(except thunderbolt) so she didnt go on with me. well anyway nothing really happened this weekend...
[May 1 2005]
wow what a sucky weekend i had.
[April 27 2005]
yay bordeum!! i'm gonna post random, awesome smilies! *aka most of my faves!*
ok so i thought it was funny...
[April 24 2005]
so it's 11:53 rite now and i cant sleep..boohoo...oh n viva la bam ENDED tonite! how sad..i'll have to watch re runs of my beautiful god! i'm serious bam n eminem r my baaaaabbbiiz!! they are danngg sexii! and so are two ppl i know *one at skool one not...*but me no spill beans...
[April 18 2005]
okayz so me n gina (who came over the day of my partay...aka the 16th) went to the marathon today and we cheereded everyone on! whoo! I was really loud so idk if u could hear me or not but oh well! :D so neway gina peirced her nose and i did my belly button but i mite take it out n ginas daddy is makin her take hers out...oh well it was fun tho! :P well newayz i decided to draw gina faerie art cuz shes in a faerie obbsession stage.... wheehoo. ok well we feel like makin my sis miserable so bbml..<3 alwayz~Janet
[April 15 2005]
lalalalalla is britney spears pregnant???? hmmm idk
[April 14 2005]
Email: This is my journal entry for thurs. april 14
Date: Thu Apr 14 00:45:49 GMT-12:00 2005
for some reason or another this computer wont let me type stuff in my pages. which is annoying. anyway i\'m at school and i\'m supposed to be typing my essay but i dont feel like it so when i get home i\'ll copy and paste it into my journal so it\'s there cuz nobody ever really reads my gb anyway well firstly ginas comin over tomorrow!!! whoo hoo! i dont know how long she\'ll stay but we will jump on the trampoline and eat croutons! I\'m jk...we will eat other stuff instead. so as you can tell i am excited cuz it\'ll be fun and we just got over a fight. and i proudly say that today, i had 100 journal veiws!!(yes, i can watch you...i know when you ACTUALLY read my journal...)i never actually thought people read it...so i\'m like whoohoo! welllllll hmmmmmm oh and amanda just came in from who knows where and she isnt telling me where she was (i dont want you to think i\'m an intruder, amanda, i\'m jw) and she looks sad and i hope shes ok. cuz i really do cuz ya know shes not talkin or
Name: journal cont
Date: Thu Apr 14 09:45:33 GMT-12:00 2005
anythin and she looks like shes been cryin, you know? wellftg ui7\\ my lilbro is atackg me! so now it looks frewed. (frigged/skrewed together) ok hes gone. I\'m havin me a trampoline party and everyones invited! it\'s gonna be this saturday and you can eat and drink and jump and make more insiders! who0t!so purdy please if u can, come! the more the happeier! woof! ok i\'m outtie now so ttul ily (but only allie is my floofball!)
[April 13 2005]
bleh i am super duper bored. I began to put in the TpC Preschool book up in TpC...i told you i'd start it and i did! i think i mite wanna make a backround with my super html knowledge! i'm jk-my brain is poop when it comes to computer technologies..so thats why i decided to ask for one for my birthday rather than trying to set up the other one thats not in use!
so random! oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhi'm saposed to be mad at allie! lol i dont think i can anymore becauz its unpossible to hate her. and yesterday we made up this story of killin eachother in the kitchen. lemme see if i can remember *if i dont, correct me allie*:
J:"What if i took this water andi poured it on you?"
A:"Then I'd smack you"
J:"Well then i would punch you and you'd go flying into that thing rite there! And all the hot greasy fat will spill on your face and then you'll screech "OMG my face is oozin off!" as you feel your flesh plop onto your hands and your burning faceless skin"
A:"Then I would throw croutons at you!"
J:"I'd just eat 'em"
A:"Then I'd throw lettuce!"
J:"I'd eat it too"
A:"Then I'll throw CHICKEN!"
J:(o_O...)***This is when i curse beein a veggie...ppl use it agaist me!***
J:"Well then i would have to dump u in the pots..."
A:"Then I would set the school on fire and pull the alarm and then we wouldnt have school tomorrow and then not for a month cuz school wont be here and.."
J:"LETS DO IT NOW!!!"
And then today Me, amanda n chelsey snuck outta gym and we waited in the mens room cuz all the girls bathrooms are locked and we thout about what ppl would think if they saw us three coming out from the man's teachers potty room. Then we left and chelsey n amanda looked at this thing that said alarm and they pressed it and as far as we know nothing happened....but randy called from the other end of the hallway ooooohhh im tellin! lol and then at lunch me n allie were trading sweaters and samantha goes "Janet ! The boys are watching you!" and i cracked up cuz i mean really who would like me like that and then i went to amandas table and this guy came over n he said "blahblah camp...b;ah blah this..and there will be hot guys, i dont know if that makes a difference, but please consider comin!" n when he left amanda said "only he would know...." so then i went to hunt down allie and i saw her in da hallway with kristen so i went thru and i said WAIT FOR ME!" so they did but i was going slow and so i ran and rammed into allie and we flew down the hallway, and the teachers lunch room was RIGHT THERE! well then back at the lunch room i made a rap song about my milk and so far it goes: "my milk its gots vitamin d and thats the stuff that helps me see! blah i dont know the rest of the song and there you go thats my milk rap!" so then in history i was showing kristen how i began drawing her n some other ppl and she goes "oooh im so hott! OMG i have huge up-theres!" and it was funny. then tim goes "r u gonna eat your cake?" (cuz mr w had cake!" and he said "im not a big cake person but i get it from people who have birthdays" and so then kathi said she wanted it but then andy said no u had it last time! and meenwile mr w went to get it and he stopped infront of MY DESK and gave it to ME! i felt so emmbarrssed i was cracking up. kristen was too. and i shared that cake. which was good, too.
i'm going to brainwash my brain now....luv yaz! <3
[April 8 2005]
omg whoo hoo i am at jackie's house with alycia and jackie and mel will be here soon cuz we are special. omg we went to go get videos at that funki place downtown and some person kept randomly farting and it smelled sooooooooooooooooo bad the whole place reeked of a disgusting smell and eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww u just had to be there. lol and now alycia n jackie were singin their "somebody passed windy" song...
[April 6 2005]
oohoohw! hehehe it's backwards! neway i found this thing and its very amusing so im going to share it with you because i am your god:
lol! and look! its gir! and a fluffly merblob! whoohoo! lol its a partay! Dont forget the hostess without cream filling allie! so yay! k i'm outie!
[April 5 2005]
wo i havent written in quite some time! and guess what else fornizzle shizzles? I'm talkin to vincete the AWESOMEST person ever! wootwoot! well newayz i went w/ angie yesterday to sterns cuz we was hungry and i almost died cuz i didnt see the train! (lol how is that even possible?)lol how fun! ok i think i want toast so leave it in the GB homiedawgs!
[March 21 2005]
ok im not supposed to be online cuz my parents THINK i stole stuff at florida and i didnt soooo yeah im computer grounded
kayla i love you so much and i promise everything will be ok so dont you think for a moment it wont! i love you and i will always be here!!! aaawwe allie i love the poem!!!:
*The AWESOME JJAMAK*
Melanie, what a girl
I think Alycia might go and hurl
Kristen was like wow this is dumb
Allie's feet were going numb
Jackie thought she was getting fat
Janet put on the sexy hat
Allie, Alycia, Kristen, and Mel
Thought they were all going to hell
Jackie and Janet on the other hand
Thought optimistically and put together a band
Wow there is so mucho to say
I still can't believe it to this day
Jackie was going crazy as sin
Janet found a new use for a skrewed up tin
Allie smacked her head into Mel's house's walls
Kristen was looking for a new shopping mall
Alycia was filming it all through the day
Mel all the sudden said "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY"
Janet was laughing @ Allie's witchy laugh
I think she almost split in half
Kristen went digging for some gold
Allie was excited because of the diamonds she sold
Mel and Jackie were talking about some hott guy
He fell right in front of them and poked out his eye
Alycia made the word "tundra" very clear
That BAUER BOMBS almost went off cause the SALIZARS were near
Allie is one mean girl
Woah I think Alycia might hurl (now)
Mel is such a forgiving bitch that is wicked hott
Its hard to even say shes a bitch cause shes not
Well I think that wraps it up for tonight
I'm gonna go dream about a wicked awesome night!
lol me n allie r so darn....weird!! (hehehe i was rockin it in her bra n pjs and thong! oh i had a dream that we were in school and nadine was wearing the pajamas...i know weird)well florida was poppin and i got presents for my homiedizzles! wo0t! (oh this is kinda a two day entry cuz i snuck on when my parents thot i was doing history notes!) so allie dont forget them gifts! ok g2g ily bie
[March 9 2005]
yay i edited my guestbook so now the form to fill in what you wanna write is different so now its VeRy SeXiI!!! I think i'm getting sick of blue so i will change my font color now and it will be this color! yup, blue on black!!!! hehehe. HEY my dog is rolling on the floor like a spaz cuz she had a bath and well she does that. then she runs around and its kinda like shes high so it's wicked funny!! well maybe i'll change the font i dont know so i'll have to think about it. i neep help deciding if i'm gonna go to barnhill.......so if your reading this give me your opinion. ok me n mister whale have to do homework so goodbye!
[March 8 2005]
well its a half day and it is 12:12 lol. i changed the site template to snow (Its a tree branch with snow on it! friggin retard..)but i cant decide if it should be snow or the sunflowers....(sunflowers has yellow sidebars and a sunflower banner and well you get it...) and ya know what? if you read my last entry i said my bro is comin over on saturday so maybe he will bring the camera an i'll get to set up my photos! well he DID come over and he DID bring the camera...but the question is DID he switch the memory sticks....cuz my photographs werent there! and my dad said this is not the memory stick and he blamed me. it kinda feels like on the fresh prince of bel-air how everyone thinks will did it if some thing goes out of line. but then its funny. in real life its not. so that sux.im all by my little lonesome....besides i have to do some other things so i'll write more some time.
[March 3 2005]
I am so friggin bored..... mmmm cake...lol kayla. today i did my toes for the florida trip...even tho its a week away :D They are a goldish color and they are so0o pretty! i might get my fingernails done a light pink.....idk tho. i saw the grudge for the very first time! who0! and tomorow im bringin in my portable dvd player so if i love you maybe i'll let ya watch it in skool or on da bus. guess what? my bro is comin over on saturday so maybe he will bring the camera an i'll get to set up my photos! (They'll be in TpC if i ever set them up!) who0op!! aww its cute!!!!!!! aiight i got to talk to darling kayla on im thennnnnnnnnnn do homework then who knows what? ok bIe!
[February 27 2005]
LOL Ashlyn is over my house rite now and it is 4:25 am! WeLlLlL today [actually yesterday considering the time and all.....]we were reading through my anicent one year diary my dad gave me in the fourth grade and there was some hilarious stuff in there!!! Some examples:
"I wish you a grandy-grand day!"
"You lied so much that you're pants are on fire!HA!"
"Never Will, Never Did. Tisk,tisk,tisk. You two are shishkabobs!"
"Then i ate Sup-sup"
"Boys dont have girl power! Girls rock!"
it is so friggin funny! I'm gonna bring it in skool someday or sumthin and show my friends cuz its so fucking hilarous!
Allie=Awie (later changed to Allie-bug)
Awwww, we were so fuckin' retarded!!!
[February 22 2005]
boo- I'm really sad...and just cuz i'm going to florida in 2 weeks [h0ly shIZnAz!] and that it's vacation and i dont have to take care of my flourbaby anymore doesnt make much a difference. in fact, i usually hate vacations. i mean, in school i do look forward to then but then i realize how lonely they get. i dont really seem to have any friends. since nobody really reads this its okay (i hope) to say the names. well i called gina today and kayla picked up-lets rewind. KAYLA picked up the phone! now, last i heard from either of them one was calling the other some bad names while the other was bitching right back. so in other words they were fighting. also, everytime i call gina to say hi and to talk, KAYLA'S THERE! and it would be rude to keep someone on the phone if they had a friend over. (i really need to think before i call her again....) so i'm partly depressed because it's like they have no time for me to be with them and it's like one moment they fight and then the next, they arent, so sometimes i really wish i wasnt their friend. i mean, i dont think you would to if two of your best friends most of the time made you sad. also, i dont think allie likes me anymore. she has jackie and mel and alycia and kristen and they are always hanging out and when i read her blurty (again...i need to think before i go to read it...it makes me sad everytime i read it) i wanna just die bcuz mel or someones always typing on it cuz shes w/ them and i think how come its never me anymore? we used to be so tight but now we're not anymore. shes talkin about the jamakers and that stuff and i feel left out all the time. and to top it off like a rotten marachino cherry, i lost mr. bear, my teddy since i was little and he seemed like he was my only best friend. i kinds wish my aunt didnt help reorganize my room....i mean i like it but a bunch of things went missing and its a bit fustrating.
[February 15 2005]
hoLY shIznAz! I got a flourbaby today! I named HER (ITS NOT AN "IT" EVEN IF IT IS A SACK 'O FLOUR!) Michelle....after Michelle Tanner from Full House (aKa the olsen twins when they were eeeeenie weenie!) well all i gots to say rite now is HAM ON A BUS! (((LoL Kim n Chelsey!...))) so anyway you wanna know whats worse than fish in a speedo thong? Fish SKINNY DIPPING! eeeewww thats like commiting suicide! only by homicide! eeeekk! uhmm okay hw so i think i gotsta bounce!
[February 14 2005]
yay valentines day! how superbly funfun! well anyway i got a present from someone but i feel so guilty cuz i dont have feelings for them how they feel for me and so i feel bad. t think it's time for a new font color what do you think? oooooh hows this? hmm maybe this instead... i'll use this for now. blahblah blah bumbumbum flossing my teeth....okay i really need to sign off i gotta do my hw so0 i will write tomorrow.
P.S. Fish in a speedo thong- Amanda, Kristenlol
[February 4 2005]
not a great day. I'm tired and im sad. I'll just spill the red beans now and get it off my shoulders...I FUCKING HATE MY FAMILY! and whats worse, ive got no friggin friends either! i wish i was a bubble....so i could pop my self and all my fizzy little droplets could fall down onto the grass so i could be something different. ignore me i dont know what im saying. i dont even know what to say! f**k it...im out
[February 2 2005]
wo i havent written nething for a while.....thats okay!
[January 25 2005]
WHo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o snow day! this is very P eye M pee! (LoL) its lyke a very special long weekend....we had the weekend off (duh) and then monday and today (which is tuesday) were snowdays. oh and i had a freaky dream!!! i am going to post it. okay so i was at my grammys old house and i had to do a project and this kid named ryan daine (NO PEOPLE, i do NOT like this kid anymore! GET IT THRU UR HEADS!) came up to me and he said what are you doing im like doing a project and dont make me laugh or ill fail and he said LOL really loud and i cracked up and tried to say shut up so i ran around the house and he kept following me and saying LOL so i ran into the bathroom and hid behind the door and peeked out the crack and saw him coming in so i slammed the door in his face (HAHAHA!) and walked over towards the toilet. I saw amandas JTHM comic and i feel sick comic on the floor so i picked them up and went down this flight of stairs where amanda and somether people whom i forget were sitting on the couch so i gave them to her and i had this thing were it was a johnny video clip in a red game boy advance sp thing, it was weird....
[January 21 2005]
lalalalalalalala! o0o0o0h guess what? i wrote a song called Rose Petals who0o0o0o0 its for me n kay's band, tho its not the bestest yet. LoL CHINESE FOOD! LoL Gina!!! ok cuz im bored im making a story with pics! Yay!:
okayz.....so Eminem was signin for the king and queen ,who live here fyi:,when the princess came. "I'm such a purty princess," she said, but the fairy named Squeedge came and with her magic wand poofed tha fat ugli princess into a ugly unicorn. (i think hes pretty!)
blahhhhhhhhhhhh....... o.h.k.a.y i will wms!
lol sooooo friggin bored...who0o0o0o so anyway whut do you think? my site got a make over (as if you havent noticed!)...i updated some songs so they sound MUCH better than the original ones i had already and i changed some songs too...lyk build be up buttercup is in wonderfully me....which im listening to now lol! so0o0 when you first come visit barbie girl comes on (lol scott..i kept it cuz yoo told me to!)and it is a much better version. wonderfully me has build me up buttercup journal is still edward scissorhands theme poems is a better versoin of beauty and the beast the bestest buds is still friends theme (i think its WAY out of tune!!! oh n btw, if you want me to put you in there i will!!!) and TpC idk what the frig to put in! who0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lets be high as a kite! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! okay i have nothing to write about cept uhmmmmm Ryan Atwood AkA Benjamin McKenzie is HOTT!!! k, bie!
( -_-) ( ") *waves* bye!!!
[January 16 2005]
LOL The funniest thing just happened.....we've got ice cream snadwich flavored ice cream in our freezer...so i asked my brother for some and he comes back with ice cream inbetween two slices of bread!!!!! IT WAS SOOOOO funni!!! btw, hes onli 4 SO DONT MAKE FUN OF HIM!!! other than that everythings BLAH!!! so im leaving....
[January 15 2005]
i hate leah....that stupid brat is so perfect and the favorite...i hate her so much. shes so popular and pretty and everyone likes her even tho shes got a twicthy eye and ADHD problems. she writes too good poems that makes me look retarded. i hate her i want to kill her and see her squrm in pain. i detest her unbelievably. but my asswipe parents HAD to breed that specially ed issue-infested seed of what she says "un-dying pain" yup, my friggin 9 year old sister thinks she endures the worst of pain. HA! whut a laugh. i could tear out her stomach and smoosh her innards. i will mutilate her!!! freakin sister......
anyway....i had the bestest estest time at Jackies @ the sleepover!!!! wh0o so fun! --Cranium/napoleon dynamite/ n lots of funfun! lol ly!
ok im out....the demon seed (AkA leah) says ive got a message on the answering machine thingy
[January 5 2005]
uh oh stalker kid alert!!! no seriously this kid mike shultz keeps calling me n wont leave me alone! so anyway...<<poor smiley blob
[January 2 2005]
bumbum bum im bored....blahblahblah dont read this it will suck yoo into its pit of boredumness!!!
[January 1 2005]
yay! happy new years! whooo hoooo!
uh oh leah's bday is tomorro! i didnt get her a present! oh well.....shes got a life ahead of her full of presents, so i dont think one year w/o a gift from her sis would matter. but then again, i mite be going to robyns new years sleepover party! whoohoo...well i really dont kno whut im doing new years so0o0o0o0o0o yeah...ok im going write more lata biebie!
[December 26, 2004]
ok so its the day after xmas...i just finshed watchin Dawn of the Dead which i got as a present on my portable DVD player....also a present...other than that besdies the three scary movies i got just stuff. Yay stuff! o i got the J.Lo perfume and Lola Goth Reminiscent perfume too. whee...i sent kayla an email and pretty much stayed in my pajamas all day.I get to go to mikeys tomorrow! yay! im sleeping over and ill get to see Madison n Christi! Whoo! ok im out...
[December 25 2004]
yay its christmas! whooo hooooo! ok i'd add more but well im gotta open gifts then im getting ready for a party...ttul
[December 24 2004]
hey i fugred how to do these new smileys! yay!
<this is me....
[December 23 2004]
wow its almost xams! how soon! i brought in presents for somepeople, but i still havent finished my shopping. so if you are reading this and want something, leave it in my g/b and ill buy you something(unless yoo are gina,kayla,allie,kristen,or shawn).....anyway i added a counter....which i shoulda done YEARS ago! lol or at least when i made the site.....now all thats left to do is the music and photoalbum.and those are gonna take FOREVER! blah blah blah okay i guess im signin out BIE!
[December 21 2004]
wow i havent written in AGES! or so it seems.... anyway...4 DAYS TILL XMAS! whoooo! well today i added a G-book, chatroom and poll! whooo hooo it was so fun! anyway me n kayla are in for BIG plans....we are going to own our own country! ypu thats rite! but for now im stuck in this one *The US...our country will be sooooo much better!* and the only thing im saving for is stuff to spend my money on thats not even for me! lol im jk i luv yoo guys! but what STINKS is no more TpC...boohoo! now its Friendly Beaver (BOOO
[December 14 2004]
So0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o tired......i updated the site how SEXY is that? lol jk... but i did edit my site!
YAY!!! It's allie's B-day! Whooohooo! We are going to see ploar express in 3D!!! muahahaahaha!
HAPPY B-DAY ALLIE!!!!
[December 3 2004]
i didnt really do anything today. just stuff. i did homewrok BLAH!!! i hope to get my pic section up soon, I have a bunch of pictures i took on my digital camrea and im soooo excited to put them on.....but my bro has the figgin camrea (which i think is broke...) and we need to hook up our stupid scanner till then i dont gots my pic section....boohoo...
I stayed home today. somebody forgot to wake me up so i got to stay home! but anyway
HOLY FRIGGIN SHIZZNAZ! i went to this webbie: www.freewebs.com/cowchica123/ AND I FREaked out when i saw the last pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wrote an email to kayla cuz i miss her !!!!!!!! blahblah blah everything is boring and well yeah....
[December 1 2004]
Hey its the first of December! Whoooohooooo how FUN it that!
[November 2 2004]
yesterday i went to Avril Lavigne concert @ the fleet center with gina wootwoot! i took the trolly which was fun fun. but other than that....
LIFE SUCKS as usual! but nobody really looks here so its not like they care....anyway sarah hates me now its obvious and if by a rare chance she is i dont wanna put up with stupid shyt so please wait till im feeling better
[October 23 2004]
I'm so tired.I wrote a new poem today. It's in the poems section and its called insanity.I feel like crying in a weird sort of way.i think maybe there is something oddly wrong with me cuz i feel so different and unaccepted everywhere i go.****sigh*** i really want a friend that is well a friend. more later bie
[I don°Įt know the date]
lets be happi!! woot woot! i hate skool and it's very boring. i hate homework too. oh well
hehe ok i g2g
[October 18 2004]
Stayed home sick.
[October 15 2004]
Today sucked. It was one of those days that made me really think of how much I hate myself and life.I went to the dance at NHS and during a bunch of the songs there was a grind line.I felt really stupid cuz I dont know how to dance and I dont want to be labeled a slut or anything, but I want to be able to have fun.I mean everybody could do it,so Im thinking why cant I?I think maybe somethings wrong with me,maybe Im not growing up rite.Oh well idk.More later.